Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes serious health issues for consumers worldwide. I fully agree that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage consumers to consume less sugary food items for saving their health.
Nowadays, it is really familiar that every other person consumes mostly all of that kind of products which contain immense sugar, which causes serious illness. Higher prices directly discourage people from buying sugary products regularly, which helps them stay away. Moreover, when taxes increase, all the sugary products like sodas, chocolates, candies, etc., become more expensive. As a result, for example, buyers will hesitate to buy soda drinks daily. Instead, buyers consume less and move to those products which have less sugar and cheaper alternatives, like fresh fruit juices.
Furthermore, when taxes increase, for sure, manufacturers would decide to do something that would be helpful and beneficial for all the consumers and will reduce the sugar intake in all these products which buyers mostly buy in their daily schedule. Consequently, the overall rates of diabetes and other diseases will decline significantly over time.and encourage the buyer to shift on all those product which help them to stay healthy.
Generally speaking, making sugary products more expensive is an effective way to reduce sugar items and an exceptional change for improving health issues. In that way, both manufacturers and consumers have the visible option to choose healthy products rather than choosing those which are dangerous for their health.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the response falls slightly short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which impacts the depth of development. While the main ideas—price-induced behavior change and manufacturer reformulation—are relevant, they are somewhat repetitive and lack detailed supporting evidence or nuanced exploration. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, you should expand on your examples and ensure that each paragraph provides a more thorough analysis of the consequences of the proposed policy, ensuring you comfortably exceed the minimum word count to allow for full development of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central focus. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Consequently' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the impact on consumers to the impact on manufacturers. However, the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the phrase 'all of that kind of products,' which makes the flow slightly awkward. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'sugar intake,' 'manufactured food,' and 'diabetes.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on repetitive phrasing, such as 'sugary products' and 'consume.' Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'it is really familiar that every other person consumes,' which is not standard academic English. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of synonyms to avoid repetition and improve the sophistication of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'shift on all those product' (should be 'shift to all those products') and 'for saving their health' (should be 'to improve their health'). Punctuation errors, such as the missing space after the period in 'time.and', also occur. While you attempt complex sentences, the control is inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and proofreading for minor mechanical errors to ensure that your complex structures are error-free.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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