Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In todays modern world the consumption of sugar has increased substantially, which is causing many health problems. It is mainly because nowadays almost all the food products contain some sort of sugar. The prices are not cheap but not expensive aswell. The authorities should make the sugar more expensive which would force people to think that why spend so much money and buy health problems. I disagree because I think that spreading awarness about it is more effective and practical approach to it.

The problem of rising levels of sugar consumption is really concerning at the moment because people are consuming sugar in almost every meal which is very harmful in long term. A typical breakfast or any other meal would include atleast one or two items that would contain artificial sugar. Even a little consumption of sugar spikes the insulin levels in the body and it remains high for long periods of time when once spiked. Long term high levels of insulin lead to fatal diseases like diabetes, in which the body fails to produce even normally required insulin. People aren't fully aware of the dangers that high sugar consumption brings to them.

People need to know that sugar doesn't directly comes from the sugar cane, it undergoes a series of processes and artificial flavours and chemical additives to transform it into modern sugar , which is very harmful if consumed more. For instance one of uncle who was never careful about sugar consumption and he kept his routine same for many years faced a brutal reality when he visited the doctor. He told him that he was suffering from diabetes type two and his body is no more capable of producing insulin anymore. It proves that high sugar consumption is indeed very harmful, but still I think that making it more expensive is not the right thing to do in this situation because it wouldn't solve the problem. I think that the authorities should invest in making people aware of the lethal consequences that are caused by the excessive sugar consumption.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have clearly stated your position against the proposed tax, arguing instead for public awareness campaigns. You address the prompt by discussing the health risks of sugar and providing a personal example to support your stance. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat uneven. While you explain the health consequences well, the argument against the tax is less developed; you simply state it would not solve the problem without exploring why or offering a counter-argument to the tax proposal. To reach a higher band, ensure that both sides of the issue are explored with equal depth and that your reasoning for rejecting the tax is more robustly supported.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body, and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'For instance' and 'because', to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions are missing or repetitive. For example, the transition between the health risks of insulin and the personal anecdote about your uncle could be smoother. Additionally, the use of referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'practical approach to it', where the antecedent is slightly vague. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear logical progression between sentences will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'artificial flavours', 'chemical additives', and 'lethal consequences'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'modern sugar' and 'kept his routine same'. Some phrasing is also slightly informal or repetitive, such as 'prices are not cheap but not expensive aswell'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid redundant phrasing. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated synonyms for common words like 'harmful' or 'expensive' would also help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally hinder the flow. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'one of uncle'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'sugar doesn't directly comes'), and punctuation mistakes, such as missing commas in complex sentences. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall accuracy. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammatical rules, particularly verb forms and the use of articles, and try to vary your sentence structures with more complex, error-free constructions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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