Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It if often argued that, some high levels of sugar containing manufactured food and drink items causing heart issues should be made more expensive to discourage consumers to buy them. I disagree with this view because it will badly affect the businesses producing them and people who can afford expensive products would still buy them.

One of the significant drawbacks of this idea is the potential profitability loss of such businesses. A large number of such businesses' market segments are price sensitive consumers, ranging from young to elderly people. When prices will increase of these daily commodities, the demand would significantly drop as price and demand have negative relationship. Consequently, the corporations would face huge financial loss and might struggle to attract new customers. Moreover, other competitors would take advantage of this by reducing their price to grab more consumers. For example, when Cocacola was boycotted by a large number of consumers over political disput, other beverage brands like 7up and Pepsi reduced their price to attract more consumers.

Another negative aspect of increasing price of such goods is that, rich consumers will not be discouraged by the decision and continue to buy them as before. As a result, a particular group of people will still have potential heart problems, making the whole strategy of surge in price a failure. If reducing health problem is the main reason behind the decision, companies and government should come together to reduce the level of sugar in manufactured food and drink items instead. For instance, products should be assessed base on how much sugar can be added and follow a strict regulation before reaching to the stores.

In conclusion, I largely disagree with the idea that prices of manufactured food and drink items should be increased to reduce sugar consumption as businesses would directly be financially affected losing customers and a particular group of people would still buy them which will continue the health problem to increase.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, maintaining a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding economic impact on businesses and the limited efficacy for wealthy consumers are relevant and well-developed. The suggestion for government regulation as an alternative solution adds depth to the argument. However, the essay could be improved by acknowledging the counter-argument more explicitly or discussing the potential health benefits of the tax to provide a more balanced perspective. Overall, the ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of beverage brand competition, which aligns with the requirements for a Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'Consequently', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to link ideas. However, there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the slightly awkward phrasing in the opening sentence. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main arguments. The overall structure is coherent, and the use of cohesive devices is generally flexible, justifying a Band 7.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is sufficient for the task and allows for some precision, such as 'price sensitive consumers', 'daily commodities', and 'strict regulation'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural collocations or word choices, such as 'potential profitability loss' instead of 'potential loss of profitability' and 'political disput' (spelling error). While the student attempts to use less common vocabulary, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional errors in word choice. The vocabulary is adequate to convey the intended meaning clearly, fitting the criteria for a Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the student demonstrates an ability to construct complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'It if often argued' (typo), 'When prices will increase of these daily commodities' (awkward syntax), and 'making the whole strategy... a failure'. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are missing articles and minor errors in verb tense and preposition usage. These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The control of grammar is consistent with a Band 6.

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