Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many processed food and beverage products contain excessive amount of sugar which causes serious health problems such as obesity, diabetes. To control this serious step, there ae great increase in the prices of sugary products. I largely agree this opinion, there should be great rise in prices of sugary products.

I think this step prove very effective for public health. The increase in the prices of sugary products such as bakery products for instance; cakes, soft drinks ,donuts reducing the demand. If manufacturers sells the products at higher inflation rate , people would discourage the uses sugary ingredients. Government using the fund raising process and discourage the use of sweet.

The price increasing process may not discouraging the use of beverage products alone. The government should take hard and goal-achieving step in this regard. Such as by implement the educational center, improving the awareness of nutritional supplements concept. Government should made institutions in the aspect of diet education. People should take education from this health center and expands the knowledge about the healthy diet.

This determined step helps the people to think about our health and take effective step to our nutrients and diets. People should have basic knowledge about our health and use the low calorie and less sugary products. Many healthcare centers are made in this regard.

To conclude, increasing the prices of sugary products would discourage the use and reducing the demand of sugary product. The efforts of government in the public health made a fruitful results.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position in favor of increasing prices on sugary products. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that higher prices reduce demand, the explanation remains superficial. The second body paragraph introduces a new idea—educational centers—which is relevant but slightly distracts from the core argument about taxation. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or logical steps explaining how price hikes directly influence consumer behavior or government revenue allocation. The conclusion is present but brief, merely restating the main point without synthesizing the arguments effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'To control this serious step' and 'The price increasing process' feel unnatural and do not effectively link ideas. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition from price increases to educational centers is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in addition to') would help create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'sugary products' and 'health problems'. There are also instances of awkward word choice, such as 'fund raising process' and 'goal-achieving step', which do not accurately convey the intended meaning. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated vocabulary and occasional errors in collocation limit the score. To improve, focus on using more academic synonyms and precise terminology related to economics and public health.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturers sells', 'Government should made'), missing articles ('in aspect of diet education'), and incorrect verb forms ('this step prove', 'may not discouraging'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of semicolons and commas. While the reader can understand your main points, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.

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