Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Packed food items and drinks contain high amount of sugar which can cause distinct health issues. Some people think that sugary items should be made more expensive to encourage people to eat less sugar. In my opinion, I agree with this view due to the several reasons mentioned in the essay.

The main reason why I agree is that increased amount of sugar in the human body can cause hazardous health disease such as diabetes and cancer. If the prices of packed food increase then the number of people buying it reduces eventually. Moreover, the production of sugar in the factories also get affected. For instance, a survey by UNICEF claims that increased price of sugary food reduces the number of customers in the world as they cannot afford it.

The second reason why I agree is that many factories and industries add preservatives and flavors in the food which has dangerous outcomes on the health. Furthermore, sugar and preservatives cause health conditions such as obesity, high cholesterol level and fatty liver which affect the quality of life in the future. Expensive sugary packed food not only reduce the customers but also reduce the production of food made from harmful substance to add the sweet flavor. For instance, a person eating sugary food will stop buying it if the prices are increased and eventually the production gets affected, which will stop the addition of alternative products to add sweet flavor.

On the other hand, some people believe that prices of the packed should not be increased. This is due to the fact that poor people mainly rely on the packed food items and drinks for the food as it is cheaper and satisfy their needs. In addition, if the prices increased then it is hard for the individuals to find the alternative of it. For example, a person buying a pack of cup cake can fulfill his hunger for at least one day, but if the prices are increased then he may not be able to buy it.

In the conclusion, I agree with the view because the increased prices of sugary food not only reduce the consumption of sugar in the humans but also reduce the addition of harmful products to add the flavor of sweetness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments are relevant, particularly the link between price and consumption. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive; for example, the second paragraph and the third paragraph both focus on the health impacts of sugar and the reduction of production, which limits the depth of the argument. The example provided regarding UNICEF is vague and lacks specific detail to be fully convincing. To reach a higher band, you should focus on developing distinct, unique arguments in each body paragraph rather than restating similar points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different viewpoints. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand' are used to link ideas, though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by ensuring that each sentence builds upon the previous one more effectively. Referencing is generally clear, though some sentences are slightly disjointed due to repetitive phrasing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinions clearly. There is some attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'preservatives', 'cholesterol', and 'obesity'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on basic descriptors like 'harmful substance' or 'dangerous outcomes'. There are also minor issues with word choice, such as 'hazardous health disease' (should be 'diseases') and 'alternative of it' (should be 'alternatives to them'). Expanding your range of collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary would improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'production... get affected' instead of 'gets affected') and pluralisation (e.g., 'increased amount of sugar' should be 'an increased amount'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward phrasings that hinder the flow. To improve, focus on ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement and refining the use of articles and prepositions, which are currently inconsistent throughout the text.

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