Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

There is a debate about manufactured products contains more sugars which may cause many health problems . sugary product sould made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I am strongly agree the sugar products must be more expensive . It causes health problems

Many people use sugar in a very high amount in very kind of products . Such as cold drinks snacks and many products It can impact on humans sugar problem and it will gain your weight . A single spoon of sugar contains 300 calories . They have to use less sugar for their better health . In the present time we see alot of products in supermarkets they are very cheap and contain a very high amount of suger and most of kids use this as well it will gives you many health deises

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 141 words. Because the essay is significantly under-length, the development of ideas is severely restricted. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the supporting arguments are underdeveloped and lack the necessary depth and specific examples required for a higher band. The points made regarding health risks and the cost of products are relevant but are presented in a fragmented manner. To improve, you must expand your arguments with detailed explanations and concrete examples to fully address all parts of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a clear logical progression. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas within the paragraphs are not well-connected. There is a noticeable lack of cohesive devices (such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'however') to link sentences and ideas together. The writing feels like a series of isolated statements rather than a cohesive argument. To improve, focus on using transition words to show the relationship between your ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that supports your overall position.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on simple terms like 'products', 'sugar', and 'health problems'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'sould' for 'should', 'alot' for 'a lot', and 'deises' for 'diseases'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. You should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'consumption', 'taxation', 'obesity', and 'nutritional value', while ensuring correct spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'products contains', 'it will gives'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or fragmented, lacking the complexity needed for higher scores. For example, 'I am strongly agree' should be 'I strongly agree'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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