Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

High quantity of sugar is contained in many food and drink items lead to several health issues. So, many people argue that the prices of sugary products should be increased to discourage people to consume sugar. I completely agree with this argument.

There are several reasons why sagary products are detrimental for human being. Firstly, by products excessively consuming of sugary products you may face some health issues, such as diabetes and obesity. Nowadays, many people are suffering from diabetes because they are not concious about the negative aspects of sugary products. Sugar increases the glucose level in human body, resulting in health problems. For example, my uincle consumed a lot of sugary products, such as soft-drinks and fancy food. Thus, his glucose level increased and he faced a lot of ailments. He was going through obesity due to his habit of consuming sugary products.

Therefore, some initiatives should be taken to restrict the excessive consume of sugary products. Firstly, thegovernment should set a limit on the price of sugary products, which will enomously discourage the customers to consume the producs which contain sugar. People will think that buying a sugary product we have to spend a lot of money, decreasing the number of consumers significantly. Thus, people will spend their valuable money to purchase some healty food instead of sugary products. Secondly, the government can promote some alternatives of sugary products by social campaigns. This may change public interest in sugary products. Manufacturers have responsibility to society. Therefore, they should set higher price on sugary items. If sugar items become expensive and unavailable, people will not be able to buy those products, allowing them to lead a healty lifestyle.

To sum up, since products which contain immense level of sugar lead to health issues, we have to reduce the amount of sugary items. Otherwise, our generation will face a lot of diseases which are caused by sugar. Therefore, I claim that the government should rise the price of sugary products.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have clearly stated your position and addressed the prompt by discussing the health impacts of sugar and the potential effectiveness of price increases. Your ideas are relevant, though some arguments could be more nuanced. For instance, while you mention that higher prices would discourage consumption, you could have explored potential counter-arguments or the socio-economic impact of such a tax to achieve a more balanced and developed response. The structure is logical, and you have provided personal examples to support your claims. To improve, ensure that your supporting points are fully extended rather than just stated, as this will help you reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Therefore', and 'To sum up' to guide the reader through your argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the health risks and the government initiatives could be more sophisticated. Additionally, ensure that referencing is always precise to avoid ambiguity. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'detrimental', 'ailments', and 'initiatives'. However, there are several spelling errors ('sagary', 'concious', 'uincle', 'healty', 'enomously') and some awkward collocations ('excessive consume', 'rise the price'). These errors occasionally distract the reader, though they do not prevent the meaning from being understood. To improve, focus on mastering the spelling of common academic words and pay closer attention to word forms (e.g., using 'consumption' instead of 'consume' as a noun). Expanding your range of synonyms would also help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('High quantity of sugar... lead to', 'government should rise the price') and missing articles or incorrect prepositions. While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more error-free sentences and work on complex structures like conditional sentences or passive voice, ensuring they are used accurately. Proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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