Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary era, quality of food is decreasing day by day. Majority manufactured food and drink products contain increased levels of sugar, which is reason for numerous health conditions. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage individuals to consume less sugar. This essay will articulate reason behind the disagreement side of the notion.

To commence with, predominant reason of the disagreement that, if the product become expensive it will not impact on the knowledge of the individuals. To be more precise , if the price rates is increase a person may buy a drink one time less than usual. For instance, my brother who is having desert three times in the month after increase price he will eat two times in month . As a result , he will not become aware about the side effects .He only reduce the frequency of sugary food.

Further more, another reason is that it is not convenient for all the economic groups because who have poor financial condition have to suffer from the vicious cycle. To be more precise, sugar is a significant for the active task during the day and who are not able to afford that much high price have vary least option for their survival . As result, their financial organized schedule was disrupted and it will impact on the mental health.

To recapitulate, food preservatives and delicious food tests are becoming detrimental for the health. Reason for my disagreement is that our purpose is to acknowledge the individual about harmful side effects of the sugary foods not put them into a finical trouble and who have poor economical circumstances that may enter into vicious cycle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you argue that price increases do not educate consumers, the supporting arguments—such as the example of your brother reducing consumption—are slightly underdeveloped and do not fully explore the broader implications of the policy. The argument regarding economic groups is relevant but could be strengthened by discussing alternative solutions, such as education or subsidies for healthy food, to provide a more balanced and comprehensive response. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, but the overall depth of analysis remains at a basic level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central idea. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To commence with', 'Further more', and 'To recapitulate', to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear or awkward, such as in the second paragraph where the connection between the brother's habit and the broader argument about awareness is slightly disjointed. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'disagreement side of the notion' and 'vicious cycle'. There are also some word choice errors, such as 'finical trouble' (likely meaning 'financial') and 'vary least option'. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'preservatives' and 'detrimental', the overall range is limited. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and to express your ideas with greater nuance and academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'In contemporary era' (missing article), 'if the price rates is increase' (incorrect verb form), and 'who have poor financial condition' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar, subject-verb agreement, and article usage prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for these common errors would significantly improve your score.

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