Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In today's world, many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. As a result, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I completely agree with this view because more consumption of sugar can cause health problems like diabetes. It can also be dangerous for the children.
Firstly, consuming too much sugar can leads to many health problems like diabetes. If people add sugar in every meals they eat, it is more likely to get affected by various diseases at very young age. For example, if a person drinks sugary tea everyday, it may increase a risk of getting diabetes. As a result, fewer people will consume these products if the prices are increased. Secondly, sugary products are dangerous for children. This is because children prefer to eat chocolates regularly. This may affect their teeth, causing tooth decay. This trend may allow fewer parents to buy the chocolates to their children.
Additionally, carbonated drinks contain a huge proportion of sugar, which are consumed by a lot of people. An recent report suggests that carbonated drinks such as Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and so on, are used to clean toilets. This study shows that how dangerous these sugary drinks can be to humans. Furthermore, by increasing the price of the sugary products encourages the people to improve their spending habits. The majority of people spend the huge amount of money on these products. Thus, increasing price of products may allow people to save money that are spent on these products.
In conclusion, although sugary products may have certain benefits. I strongly agree that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. As sugary products may cause several health problems such as diabetes, cause tooth decay to children, and encourage people to save their money spent on these products.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments are relevant, focusing on health risks like diabetes and tooth decay, as well as economic implications. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the claim that sugary drinks are used to clean toilets is an anecdotal, unverified assertion that lacks academic weight. To reach a higher band, the response should focus on more robust economic or public health arguments, such as the elasticity of demand or the potential for government revenue to be reinvested in healthcare, rather than relying on informal examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is occasionally mechanical, and the flow between sentences can be slightly disjointed. For example, the transition between the health benefits of avoiding sugar and the financial benefits in the third paragraph is abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, but the essay would benefit from a more sophisticated range of linking words to improve the overall flow and progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There is some attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'carbonated drinks' and 'spending habits'. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are also minor errors in collocation and word choice, such as 'more consumption of sugar' instead of 'higher sugar consumption' and 'buy the chocolates to their children' instead of 'buy chocolates for their children'. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('consuming too much sugar can leads to', 'drinks... which are consumed', 'money that are spent') and article usage errors ('a risk', 'the huge amount'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure lacks the complexity and error-free control required for higher bands. The student should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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