Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. As a result, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I completely agree with this view because consuming excessive sugar may cause various health problems such as diabetes. They are also dangerous for children and may lead to obesity.

Firstly, consuming too much sugar can cause health problems like diabetes. This is because if people regularly consume sugary foods, they are more likely to develop such disease. For example, if an individual consumes sugary tea every day, they may increase the risk of developing diabetes at a very young age. If the price of these products are increased, they becomes less affordable to people. Thus, fewer people will buy these products. Secondly, these foods may be dangerous for children. They prefer to eat chocolates regularly. It may cause teeth problems such as tooth decay. As children are financially dependent on their parents, increasing price may encourage parents to limit the money spent on these products.

Additionally, consuming high levels of sugar may lead to obesity. If people consume the huge proportion of sugar on daily basis, they are more likely to gain weight. This may lead to obesity. Due to this, various health problems are caused such as heart attack, blood pressure, and so on. Furthermore, carbonated drinks contain the huge proportion of sugar. For example, if a person regularly consume soft drinks, they are more likely to cause stomach problems. As a result, less affordable products encourage fewer people to purchase these type of drinks.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar because sugary products may cause health problems and can even lead to obesity. They are also dangerous for children, causing various teeth problems. I believe increasing the price of these products may become less affordable to people and may prevent these various types of negative effects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, maintaining a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the link between sugar, diabetes, and obesity, and the role of price in consumer behavior. However, the development is somewhat repetitive; for instance, the points about health problems and children are revisited in multiple paragraphs without adding significant new depth. To reach a higher band, you should aim to extend your arguments with more nuanced analysis or specific, real-world examples rather than repeating the same core points. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, but the overall development remains slightly basic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some of the transitions feel mechanical, and the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the link between the price increase and the behavioral change is stated repeatedly in similar terms. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences occasionally feels disjointed due to the repetitive nature of the arguments. Improving the variety of linking phrases and ensuring each sentence builds upon the previous one would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'manufactured', 'affordable', 'carbonated drinks', and 'tooth decay'. However, there is a lack of variety in your word choices, with 'sugary products', 'health problems', and 'consume' being used repeatedly. There are also some minor collocation issues, such as 'consume the huge proportion of sugar' (should be 'a large amount of sugar'). To improve, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and academic collocations to avoid repetitive phrasing. The current vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your ideas clearly, but it lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'if the price of these products are increased' (should be 'is increased') and 'they becomes less affordable' (should be 'they become'). Additionally, there are minor errors in article usage and pluralization, such as 'develop such disease' (should be 'such diseases') and 'purchase these type of drinks' (should be 'these types'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and plural forms.

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