Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
High content of sugar levels in manufactured food and drinks have lead to many serious health issues. And many contend that to avoid the consumption of sugary product it should be made expensive. I firmly agree that sugary product should be made expensive and individuals should be encourage to avoid it.
Firstly, many health concerns in our societies are the result of consumption of manufactured food and drinks which has high sugar level. Increasing the price of these products might result in decreased demand which consequently helps to maintain health. Common health issues like diabetics and obesity could be prevent by encouraging people to consume less sugar. For instance, with the increase of consumption of soft drinks which has excessive amount of sugar level is directly related to obesity.
On the other hand, many individuals still prefer to drink and eat food with high sugar contain as it helps them to calm down and increase the production of dopamine in their brain. As it is made expensive, people take it as premium product and spend more money on it. As a result people might buy these product as a reward for themself. A recent study has indicated that even the soft drinks are made expensive the number of consumption has not decreased.
In conclusion, as manufactured food and drinks with high sugar level is directly related to serious health consequence and these product should be made expensive to discourage the consumption. I strongly believe individuals should be encouraged to avoid it and help the society get healthy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have presented relevant arguments for both sides of the issue, although the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the second paragraph mentions the link between soft drinks and obesity, which is a good start, but it lacks specific evidence or a deeper explanation of how price elasticity actually functions in this context. The conclusion restates your position effectively. To improve, ensure that your supporting points are fully extended with more detailed reasoning or concrete examples to demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal the progression of your argument. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is slightly unclear, such as in the phrase 'As it is made expensive' in the third paragraph, where the antecedent is not explicitly stated. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the transition between ideas is smoother and more natural.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'manufactured food', 'consumption', and 'dopamine'. However, there are several instances of inaccurate word choice and collocation, such as 'high content of sugar levels' (should be 'high sugar content'), 'diabetics' (should be 'diabetes'), and 'high sugar contain' (should be 'high sugar content'). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument. To improve, focus on learning the correct word forms and common collocations related to health and economics.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'High content... have lead' should be 'has led') and pluralization (e.g., 'these product' should be 'these products'). Additionally, there are issues with verb forms, such as 'could be prevent' instead of 'could be prevented'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall fluency of the writing. Increasing your focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy will help you achieve a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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