Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that many factory products like food and drink contains the high amount of sugar which creates more health problems so there price should be increased for lowering the interest of people towards sugar. I completely disagree with this statement, because this creates rise in the economy of country and extra financial burden on people .

First of all, by increasing prices of sugary products there would be overall increase in all items. This is because almost every manufactured product contains sugar such as diary or bakery items. For example, a country increases the rate of sugary products so all items such as biscuits, cakes, yogurt and much more like that which all are basic necessary items in human life. As a result, there is a lot of inflation rises overall which make a huge burden on people.

There are many more ways through which people can eat or drink products which contains sugar. For instance, in Asian countries sugar makes locally from sugar cane and they makes pastes of liquid which is comes out after crushing or eat directly sugarcane from field. Therefore, individuals shifts their interest from manufactured sugary products to these things which may cause shortage of sugarcanes for mills and industries.

In conclusion, there is a significant amount of sugar presents in the sugary manufactured products which is dangerous for human health lives, so for discouraging people from this products should be made more expensive. This method rises the inflation and makes more financial problems for people as overall all products prices will be increases, while people can still approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding inflation is relevant, but the second body paragraph about alternative sugar sources is slightly tangential and does not directly address the economic impact of taxing sugary products. The conclusion is repetitive and contradicts the student's own stance by restating the prompt's premise rather than summarizing the argument. To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly supports your central thesis and avoid restating the prompt in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'much more like that which all are basic necessary items' is awkward and disrupts the flow. Additionally, the transition between ideas within paragraphs is sometimes abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between the tax and the conclusion is muddled. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would enhance the logical progression of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'factory products' instead of 'manufactured goods' and 'rise in the economy of country' instead of 'economic growth'. The student relies on simple, repetitive language ('sugar', 'products', 'items'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of more sophisticated or topic-specific vocabulary prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Using more precise collocations and academic terminology would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('food and drink contains', 'sugar makes locally'), article usage ('the high amount', 'the economy of country'), and awkward phrasing ('there price should be increased'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is usually understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar structures limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would be a beneficial starting point for improvement.

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