Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays many health problems are due to manufactured products that contain significant amount of sugar. However, by increasing the prices of such products can force people to consume less sugar. This essay will discuss both views before presenting the my perspective.

Industries use a vast amount of ingredients during manufacturing goods such as sugar because it enhace the taste, these organizations just want to improve their sales without concerning the health of customers. Many people like to eat processed items because they are easy to consume but individuals are unawair to consequences of these products. In this way, people consume large amount of sugar without intension and it leads to multiple health problems. For example, if a children eats biscuit in the breakfast or during school breaks continuesly it may badly impact his stumoch.

On the other hand, the consumption of sugar can be control by boosting the prices of products since sugar containing products go out of the budget of the customers and they will think atleast once. However, there are many neccessities in today's life that are important more than a manufactured product therefore expensive sugar items will encourage buyers to spend money on something that is heighgenic.

To sum up, many food manufacturer and beverage companies use sugar to develop the taste of the product and in results they gain more customers but the regular consumption of such goods impact a human life badly. I am strongly agree, if the prices of these poduct will increase people would avoid to spend money on items that later cause problems for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding price increases is mentioned, but the explanation of why this would be effective is brief and lacks depth. The essay mentions discussing 'both views' in the introduction, but the body paragraphs do not clearly contrast different perspectives; instead, they focus primarily on the negative aspects of sugar and the potential benefits of taxation. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed reasoning and specific examples to support your claims, ensuring that the discussion remains balanced and fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand' and 'To sum up', to link your thoughts. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'In this way' which does not perfectly connect the preceding sentence to the following point. Additionally, some sentences are slightly disjointed, which affects the overall flow. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus will help improve your score in this area.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. You use basic terms like 'manufactured products' and 'health problems' multiple times. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'enhace', 'unawair', 'intension', 'neccessities', 'heighgenic', and 'poduct', which occasionally distract the reader. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the errors in word choice and spelling prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate spelling and incorporating more sophisticated synonyms will significantly enhance your lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'by increasing the prices of such products can force' is grammatically incorrect, and 'if a children eats biscuit' contains subject-verb agreement errors. Additionally, the phrase 'I am strongly agree' is a common error; it should be 'I strongly agree'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors indicates a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of sentence construction, particularly regarding verb forms and articles.

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