Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is undeniable that increase in demand of packaged foods containing high level of sugar become a pensive concern in this modern world. In this regards, many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I agree to a large extent with this notion explain in forthcoming fragments with a logical conclusion.

To commence with, a substantial portion of the population incorporates sugar-laden beverages and meals into their daily diets. First and foremost, Consistent consumption of these items can result in detrimental effects on their health, such as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. Hence, it is imperative for consumers to be cognizant of the repercussions of their dietary choices. While many individuals may not pay sufficient attention to the risks associated with consuming unhealthy foods, it is crucial that they receive education from qualified professionals. These experts can provide reliable information regarding the benefits and drawbacks of dietary habits, which could empower consumers to make informed decisions.

Nevertheless, some policymakers advocate for the imposition of higher prices on sugary products as a means to encourage healthier consumption patterns among consumers. However, this method is neither practical nor effective, as many individuals are already heavily reliant on these products in their daily lives. Instead of increasing prices, manufacturers should focus on reducing the sugar content in their goods. This strategy not only addresses the root cause of the issue but also provides a more sustainable solution. Additionally, it would be beneficial for all products to carry nutrition labels that clearly indicate sugar levels, thereby enabling consumers to make conscious choices. Furthermore,disseminating information about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption could serve as an effective preventive measure.

In conclusion, while there are valid concerns related to the consumption of sugary foods and drinks, relying solely on price increases as a deterrent is insufficient. Both government bodies and corporate leaders have a responsibility to implement more effective strategies, such as educational initiatives and product reformulation, to promote healthier lifestyles among consumers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that agrees with the notion of addressing sugar consumption but disagrees with the specific method of taxation. Your ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly in the second and third paragraphs. However, the introduction is slightly repetitive, as you restate the prompt verbatim before giving your opinion. To reach a higher band, ensure your position is more nuanced from the start and avoid simply copying the prompt's wording. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, though it could have been more tightly linked to the specific arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'To commence with,' 'Nevertheless,' and 'Furthermore' to link your paragraphs and sentences. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each section focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the phrase 'in this regards' in the introduction, which is grammatically awkward. Overall, the flow is smooth, and the reader can easily follow your line of reasoning throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'sugar-laden beverages,' 'detrimental effects,' and 'product reformulation' show an ability to use topic-specific language effectively. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'pensive concern' (likely meant 'pressing concern') and 'in this regards' (should be 'in this regard'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching the higher bands. Expanding your use of less common collocations and ensuring precise word choice will help improve your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'increase in demand... become a pensive concern' (subject-verb agreement) and 'notion explain in forthcoming fragments' (should be 'explained'). Additionally, there is a missing space after the comma in 'Furthermore,disseminating'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not significantly impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentence structures are punctuated correctly.

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