Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The issue of many food products have large amount of sugar because of that it can cause several health problems, has become widely debated topic in the recent years. Attracting attention from group of people and individuals. Some people think that large number of food and soft drink manufactures are added high amount of sugar, that leads numerous health issues, while sugary items ought to be implanted much costly to motivate individuals to use less sugar, arguing the it has numerous benefits. Others strongly disagree, believing that it can lead potential drawbacks. According to my perspective, i wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Throughout this essay, my stance will be discussed with valid reasons and appropriate examples.

To begin with, there are several reasons why high content sugary products would be more expensive. The primary and most significant reason is that it improve public health. People can avoid to purchase unnecessary food items because high price rate. As a result, individuals live healthy life with any sugar related diseases such as diabetes and obesity. To illustrates, according to research, in USA, diabetes cases has declined in elder peoples due to the high-price of the sugar products. Additionally, another reason is that, it reduces sugar consumption. High rate products can discourage people from buying high contain sugar drinks and snacks.

On the other hand, proponent argue that sugary products should not be made more expensive. First and foremost, it affects low income families. They can not effort sufficient items for living because small amount of sugar has required for the healthy life. Furthermore, increasing price has not appropriate reason, government must organized campaigns and give the information about how high levels of sugar causes health problems and encourage people to reduces utilize sugar.

To sum up, although Overprices are not best way because it affects low income families, I firmly believe that it is important due to that public healths improve and reduction o

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding public health benefits and the counter-argument concerning low-income families are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example regarding diabetes in the USA is vague and lacks specific context. The conclusion is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence, which affects the overall task completion. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a fully developed explanation and a concrete, well-explained example, and always ensure the conclusion is finished to provide a sense of closure.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', and 'On the other hand'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical or repetitive transitions. Some sentences are poorly linked, such as the opening sentence, which lacks grammatical cohesion. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the abrupt ending of the essay significantly impacts the coherence of the final section. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that sentences within paragraphs are more tightly connected would help elevate the score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'implanted much costly' instead of 'made more expensive' and 'high price rate' instead of 'higher prices'. Some collocations are unnatural, such as 'public healths improve'. While the meaning is generally clear, the limited range of vocabulary and the recurring errors in word choice prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on learning topic-specific collocations and synonyms for common words will help improve your lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('diabetes cases has declined'), incorrect word forms ('high contain sugar'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly in the introduction. While the writer attempts complex sentences, these are often where the most errors occur. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex structures.

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