Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is undeniable that sugar is used in many kinds of foods and drinks. In this regard, Most manufactured used high level of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
To commence with, there are many benefits of this notion. The prime one is health. High sugar intake can cause obesity and diabetes. If sugary products prices are increased. Most individuals will choose healthy food rather than sugary food. The other one is that the government's benefits because the government increased price of sugary products and sugar taxes can generate government revenue. As a result, this money can be used for health care and health awareness campaigns.
On the other hand, there are many demerits of this notion. First and foremost is the effect on poor people because they may not be able to afford sugary products. As a result, it will make burden on them. Secondly, lack of knowledge. People who enjoy eating sugary products. They still buy sugary products. To justify it, people who do not know about its drawbacks. Although sugary products prices are grow yet people still buy it.
In my opinion, sugary products are harmful to people but this is not a good solution to reduce the sale of overly sweet products. The government should create awareness among individuals. Teachers should tell their students about the health problems caused by sugary products. Children also tell their parents and their neighbors.
In conclusion, I disagree with this statement. Increasing the price of sugary products is not a good solution. Education, clear labels and reducing sugar in products are more effective solutions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that disagrees with the proposed tax. The ideas are relevant, such as the impact on low-income individuals and the potential for educational alternatives. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about 'lack of knowledge' is underdeveloped and lacks a clear logical link to the price argument. While the position is consistent, the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly explained to reach a higher band. The conclusion effectively summarizes the stance and offers alternative solutions, which helps in fulfilling the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'The other one is that the government's benefits'. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack smooth flow, particularly in the third paragraph where the connection between the lack of knowledge and the price of products is disjointed. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, but the use of cohesive devices could be more sophisticated and varied.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinions clearly. There is some attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'obesity', 'diabetes', 'revenue', and 'awareness campaigns'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetitive phrasing, such as the frequent use of 'sugary products'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural or imprecise, such as 'make burden on them' instead of 'place a burden on them'. To improve, the student should focus on using a wider variety of synonyms and more precise collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('Most manufactured used high level'), article usage, and sentence fragments ('People who enjoy eating sugary products. They still buy sugary products.'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentences ending prematurely. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader, though they do not completely impede communication. A greater focus on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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