Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
As many of you know, sugar is very dangerous for the health, so I think that sugary products should be made more expensive to discourage the people.
Nowadays, people became very unhealthy because of eating too much junk food or fast food and the beverages. The beverages contain high level of sugar as it will depletes your immune system which can later cause sugar, blood pressure like diseases which will never be cured. Sugar can make the body fatty, and it will also affect the digestion system of the body. But at the same time, if it can be consumed in controlled manner like having it one a month in limited amount then it will not affect the health.
As new generation kids like too much of sugary food and drinks such as chocolates and cold drinks which can deimmunised the child's health which can further leads to certain health issues. So, to avoid child from eating too many sugary product and also to encourage people to consume less sugar, government has to increase the sugary products price so that parent will buy less items and people will consume less sugary products. For example, many people love to eat caramel popcorn as popcorn is healthy, but caramel is very dangerous for the health, so try to avoid eat caramel and eat normal popcorn.
As in result, people should be encouraged to consume less sugary food and drinkable product as it will invite health issue in the future life and eat healthy food.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of increasing prices. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention health issues like blood pressure, the explanation is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. The example regarding caramel popcorn is slightly tangential and does not strongly support the argument about government intervention through taxation. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed reasoning on how price increases specifically influence consumer behavior and provide more relevant, academic examples to support your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is basic and occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'as' and 'which'. Some transitions between sentences feel mechanical rather than natural. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in light of this') to connect your arguments more fluidly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices or non-standard collocations, such as 'deimmunised the child's health', 'make the body fatty', and 'drinkable product'. These errors occasionally make the text sound unnatural. To improve, focus on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) and using more precise academic terminology. For example, instead of 'make the body fatty', use 'contribute to obesity'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('beverages contain high level of sugar as it will depletes'), incorrect verb forms ('avoid child from eating'), and punctuation errors. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and refining your use of complex sentence structures to ensure they are grammatically sound.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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