Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is often argued by some people that sugary products are not beneficial for health.Some people might disagree but I strongly believe that it can cause some serious health issues and it should be expensive.
Firstly, the sugar is not good to our health as it can cause some serious health disease like diabeaties.To prevent from such problems we must take some actions to stop its mass intake.Take an example of China their health minister says by the end of 2028 more than 35% of the population struggles with their health caused from sugar.
Secondly, the natural sugar has less harmful effects on health than the compressed sugar.The natural sugar is more expensive then the other that is the reason why all the manufactured food and drink are harmful.The most recent survay by Germany stated that their consuption of sugar drops significantly after they increased their sugar price.Thus, it is a very productive way to prevent our population from such drug.
Lastly,I believe that the cut of sugar is very important for our country. As some research also state that the sugar also makes our bones week which is irreversible and can lead to permanent dissabillity. Sugar is not worth the taste over health we must take some appropriate actions to prevent ourself from it.
Although, the taste of sugar is very good but it does more harm than good.I strongly agrees with the idea to make sugary products more expensive to reduce its intake.Overall we also look at the things we intake are good for our health or not.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of increasing the price of sugary products. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide reasons such as health risks and the effectiveness of price increases, the supporting evidence—such as the mention of China's health minister or a German survey—lacks specific detail and feels somewhat anecdotal or unsupported. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are fully extended with more logical explanation rather than just stating the point. The conclusion is present, but it repeats the introduction rather than synthesizing the main points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Lastly' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, the transition between the health risks of sugar and the economic argument about price could be smoother. Paragraphing is used, but the final paragraph is quite short and lacks a strong concluding statement that ties the essay together effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several spelling errors ('diabeaties', 'survay', 'consuption', 'dissabillity', 'week' instead of 'weak') that detract from the overall quality. You use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'manufactured food' and 'intake', but the range is somewhat limited. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and ensure accuracy in spelling. The repetition of basic words like 'sugar' and 'health' also limits your score; try using synonyms or paraphrasing to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with articles ('the sugar is not good to our health'), subject-verb agreement ('research also state'), and word choice ('prevent ourself from it'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after periods. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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