Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Numerous suger things contain big levels of sugar , Which create uncountable health issues. If sugar things are much costly then person will consume less sugar things. I partially agree with this statement . In upcoming paragraphs I will discuss why I partially agree with this statement .
To begin with , When sugar products price is very high then citizens can not buy things as a result citizens have more benfits . firstly they have no health issues, their body can not convert into fatty body, and they feel relaxed when they can not use sugar during 2026 . When persons ear more and more sweet things then liver is convert into fatty liver and fatty liver can not do work properly as result few years ago person have more health problems.
However , When manufacture should incresing price of sugar products then people then can not buy things and manufacture will become into loss . Production of sugar things will be stop . workers will be lost their jobs forexample, In Canada production Owner increase price on sugar thing after few time persons can not buy sugar things and production of thing will be stop and uncounttable citizens lost their jobs and the price of dollar is low in other countries during 2026.
In conclusion, There are some benefits and disadvantage of sugar products but benefits are Overweight on disadvantage
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the prompt is addressed and a position is stated, the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive. The examples provided, such as the reference to Canada and the year 2026, are unclear and lack logical connection to the topic. The ideas are presented in a very simplistic manner, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points. To improve, you must expand on your arguments with clear, logical reasoning and ensure the essay meets the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often confusing. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with' and 'However', but they are often applied incorrectly or in a mechanical way. The referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of the argument. The lack of logical development between sentences and the repetitive nature of the phrasing hinder the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'sugar things' and 'things' instead of more precise academic vocabulary. There are numerous errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'fatty body' and 'ear more and more sweet things'. The spelling is also inconsistent throughout the text. To achieve a higher band, you need to expand your range of vocabulary and focus on using words that are appropriate for an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with frequent errors. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'person will consume' and 'liver is convert'. Punctuation is also problematic, with unnecessary capitalization and incorrect comma usage. The sentence structures are often awkward and sometimes impede the reader's understanding of your intended meaning. You need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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