Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In contemporary society, most of our food items contain sugar in excessive amount which may leads to health complications, such as the obesity, diabetes mellitus. Although a good proportion of people oppose the idea of an increase in sugar price because, they believe sugar is important in our daily diet, and we should consume sugar in control amount. I completely agree that excessive sugar intake may have adverse effect on individual's life, but I also discourage the idea of make the sugary items expensive, and in this essay, I will explain my opinion with examples.

One of the most compelling arguments in support of making sugary products less accessible is that, sugar has negative effects on individual's overall health. Sugar falls in the category of simple carbohydrates which increases the individual's blood glucose level instantly. Its also contributes in developing the metabolic diseases such as the type 2 diabetes mellitus. Medical experts recommend to avoid sugary products, therefore, this idea is understandable to made sugary items more expensive.

Critic raises a valid concern, instead of making sugary products expensive, manufacturers should reduce the price of the sugar alternatives such as the artificial sweeteners. Sugar should be replaced by the Artificial sweeteners and has a potential to make impact on commercial level. Moreover, they should attract the customers via introducing the different discount schemes.

In conclusion, sugar may have adverse effect on individual's health, but it can be avoided by using sugar's alternative. Government must take initiatives to reduce sugar consumption.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the health impacts of sugar and the proposed tax. However, the development is uneven. While you acknowledge the health risks, your argument against the tax is somewhat underdeveloped. You suggest alternatives like artificial sweeteners, but you do not fully explain why these are superior or why a tax would be ineffective beyond a brief mention of 'discount schemes'. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a clear, extended argument that directly supports your position. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly forced. For example, the transition between the health risks and the suggestion of artificial sweeteners is abrupt. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Critic raises a valid concern', where the plural 'Critics' would be more appropriate. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to connect ideas more naturally would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary society', 'metabolic diseases', and 'artificial sweeteners'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'sugar in excessive amount' (should be 'excessive amounts') and 'made sugary items more expensive' (should be 'making'). There is also a tendency to repeat words like 'sugar' and 'expensive' rather than using synonyms or referencing techniques. To improve, focus on more precise collocations and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('which may leads to'), article usage ('the obesity', 'the type 2 diabetes'), and incorrect verb forms after prepositions or infinitives ('understandable to made'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring correct verb tense usage after modal verbs would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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