Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that most manufactured packed food drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more costly to encourage people to use up less sugar. I strongly agree with opinion because sugary and packed food cause many health problems like fatty liver and obesity and also it should be made more expensive to encourage people to avoid consume less sugar.

To begin with food and drink products which contains heavy and more sugar in it which causes many health problems like obesity, fatty liver and diabetes. Because these sugary and packed materials contains hidden calories when people take these products and then eat sugary products, they became more obese and also causes many health related states like fatty liver and diabetes. I have seen many people whose were overuse these materials and became patient of diabtes.

Furthermore, These products should be made expensive so that people could not buy these items and became safe from their side effects. When the prices became high of these items then people will not be able to buy these harmful things. For example, when the price of sugar became high, indiviuals will not buy it untill it become cheap so that they will ultimately become safe from their bad effects.

In conclusion, I firmly agree with that most manufactured food and drink items contain high levels of sugar which causes health problems like diabetes and prices of these products should be made high so that people will consume less sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of increasing taxes on sugary products. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. For instance, the argument that sugary products cause health issues is restated in every paragraph without significant expansion or deeper analysis. The examples provided, such as 'I have seen many people whose were overuse these materials', are anecdotal and lack the depth required for a higher band. To improve, you should focus on explaining the economic or social mechanisms behind why price hikes would effectively reduce consumption, rather than simply repeating that it would make people stop buying them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive. Phrases like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are used correctly, but the internal flow within paragraphs is hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. For example, the transition between the health risks and the proposed solution is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that ideas flow more naturally from one sentence to the next would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher levels. You rely on basic terms like 'made more expensive', 'many health problems', and 'bad effects'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'use up less sugar' (instead of 'consume less') and 'became patient of diabtes' (instead of 'developed diabetes'). To achieve a higher score, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to health, economics, and public policy, while ensuring that these words are used in the correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('food and drink products which contains'), incorrect verb forms ('avoid consume less'), and awkward phrasing ('whose were overuse these materials'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence construction often feels clunky. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately. Reducing the frequency of these errors is essential for moving into the 6.0+ range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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