Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Numerous manufactured food and drink items contain high levels of sugar, which can cause multiple health problems. Some people believe that sugar-related products should be made more expensive to reduce sugar consumption. I completely agree with this view because making sugary products more expensive could improve public health, particularly among children, as excessive sugar consumption can be harmful to their teeth.

One major reason why I agree with this view is that excessive consumption of sugar can lead to weight gain, which can cause multiple problems such as breathing difficulties, reduced stamina and a higher risk of chronic diseases. In addition, excessive sugar consumption can damage people's teeth, particularly when sugary products are consumed regularly. Therefore, reducing the consumption of these products could help people maintain a healthier weight and reduce the risk of dental problems.

Another important reason why I agree with this statement is that excessive consumption of sugary products can increase the risk of developing diabetes, which is a serious health problem nowadays. People with diabetes may find that their wounds take longer to heal. They may also experience excessive thirst and frequent urination, which can make their daily lives more difficult. Therefore, reducing the consumption of sugary products could help lower the risk of diabetes and improve people's overall health. Moreover, making these products more expensive could discourage people from purchasing them frequently and encourage them to choose healthier alternatives.

In conclusion, although sugar may have some benefits when consumed in moderation, I completely agree with the statement that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Excessive sugar consumption can contribute to several health problems, such as diabetes, tooth decay and weight gain, while higher prices could encourage people to make healthier choices.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position in the introduction and maintaining it throughout. The ideas are relevant and supported with logical arguments regarding health consequences such as obesity, dental issues, and diabetes. However, the development is somewhat repetitive; the essay focuses heavily on the health problems caused by sugar rather than fully exploring the economic mechanism of the proposed solution (taxation/price increases). To reach a higher band, you should provide more depth on how price changes specifically influence consumer behavior or discuss potential counter-arguments to provide a more balanced, comprehensive analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'In addition,' 'Therefore,' and 'Moreover' are used effectively to link sentences and ideas. However, the transitions between paragraphs are somewhat mechanical, and the structure relies on a repetitive 'reason-example' pattern. To improve, try to vary the cohesive devices and ensure that the link between the health problems and the economic solution is more tightly integrated within the paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly and accurately. You use some topic-specific terms like 'chronic diseases,' 'diabetes,' and 'moderation.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a tendency to repeat phrases such as 'excessive consumption of sugar' and 'sugary products' multiple times. To achieve a higher band, incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and more sophisticated collocations to demonstrate a more flexible command of the language, avoiding the repetitive phrasing that currently characterizes the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are error-free, and the punctuation is generally accurate. You successfully use complex structures, such as 'although sugar may have some benefits when consumed in moderation,' which helps the flow. While the grammar is reliable, the range of complex structures is somewhat narrow. To reach a higher band, aim to incorporate a greater variety of advanced grammatical forms, such as conditional sentences or passive voice constructions, to show more flexibility.

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