Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is true that many manufactured company produce unhealthy food and drink, that contains high level of sugar and causes many health problem. For that reason, authority should make plan to increase the price of sugary product to encourage public to consume less sugar. I completely agree with that statement.
There are many reasons why I agree with that statement. The main reason is manufactured food contains large proportion of sugar, which contains various type of health problems. For example, the one major problem is increaseing the obesity. People consume sugary items and that really increased weight. In addition, that type of product also create many physical problems and diseases, like heart failure, kidny damage and so on.
On the other hand, if we want to protect citizens from that problem, we must campaigning the bad effect of sugary goods and encerage public to consume less sugar. Furthermore, the authority should take necessary step to stop marketing sugary products. For example, if government makes new rules for manufactured company to use less sugar on food, that's really helps everyone to consume less. Also authority should check every product and make a low to fine the manufactured company, that helps more to control the situation. The one more step should take by the authority, incresed the price of sugary items. By implify that step, citizens consume less sugary food, that helps them to lead a healthy life. Moreover, government should introduced rule to use danger sign on the packet, that initiative alart public about the causes of that food.
In conclusion, sugary products causes many health issus in everyone life. However, I completely agree with the statement that authority should take necessary step to stop people consume people more sugar and also make new rules to protect public from affected the manufactured food and drinks.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have provided reasons for your agreement, such as health concerns like obesity and heart disease, and suggested additional measures like warning labels. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive, and the focus on the specific prompt—the impact of price increases—is occasionally diluted by a list of other government interventions. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on deepening the argument rather than simply listing multiple solutions. The ideas are relevant, but they could be more thoroughly supported with more specific examples or logical chains of reasoning to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In addition,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Furthermore,' to link sentences. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'On the other hand,' which is not used to contrast two sides of an argument here. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, which affects the flow of the text. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the essay read more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'manufactured,' 'obesity,' and 'initiative.' However, there are several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'kidny' (kidney), 'incerage' (encourage), 'implify' (implement), and 'alart' (alert). These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision and ensure that you check your spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors, such as 'manufactured company produce' (should be 'manufacturers produce') and 'that's really helps' (should be 'that really helps'). There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb forms, such as 'sugary products causes' and 'government should introduced.' While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit the score. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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