Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, majority of food and drinks manufacturers are adding sugar in their products, which may cause severe health ailments. It is believe that products containing sugar should be more expensive in order to make customers to buy less sugary products. I mostly agree with this view, however, I have some points to discuss in the favour of disagreement.

To commence with, there is no doubt that the food market is flooded with the sugary products nowadays. Although sugar is considered as a detrimental for our health, still companies ignore the adverse effect they put on the customer. For instance, brands like Coca Cola drink have large amount of sugar in it, even it is mention on the nutritional table on the can or bottle. Despite that, consumer still buy those drinks. Consequently, with the consumption of these sugar containing products, individuals get obese and attract other illnesses as well such as, high blood pressure and heart disease.

Rather than making these product expensive, companies should introduce another alternative to overcome this challenges. Brands should launch similar products without sugar, thus customers should have an option to switch between sugar or no sugar product. If we take an example of Coca Cola again, they brought Coke zero and Coke diet in the market to provide replacement for original Coke with sugar. As a result, customers have options to choose, whether they can go for sugar or no sugar drink.

In conclusion, whereas it is clear that products with sugar may cause their customers harmful illness, people continue to buy it. But there are better different approaches companies should acquire to give replacement to their customers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the proposal to increase prices on sugary products. You clearly state your position in the introduction, although the phrasing 'I have some points to discuss in the favour of disagreement' is slightly vague. You provide relevant ideas, such as the effectiveness of sugar taxes versus the alternative of providing healthier product options. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, you mention that taxes might not work, but you do not fully explore why or provide a counter-argument to the potential benefits of such a tax. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph fully explores the implications of your arguments with more depth and specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'For instance', 'Consequently', and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Rather than making these product expensive'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for example, in the final paragraph, 'it' in 'people continue to buy it' refers back to a plural noun ('products'), which creates a minor cohesion error. The progression of ideas is logical, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and better pronoun referencing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'detrimental', 'nutritional table', and 'obese'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'attract other illnesses' (instead of 'develop' or 'contract') and 'give replacement' (instead of 'provide alternatives'). There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'in the favour of' (should be 'in favour of'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on collocations and more sophisticated synonyms will help improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'majority of food and drinks manufacturers' (missing 'the'), 'It is believe' (should be 'It is believed'), 'sugar is considered as a detrimental' (should be 'considered detrimental'), and 'these product' (should be 'these products'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and pluralization. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will also help elevate your score in this criterion.

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