Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, there has been considerable discussion about whether some industries produced contain large level of sugar in food and drink which causes several type of health issues. Wheres others holds the opposite opinion. From my perspective, I completely agree with this view, as it can produced sugar level and also weight gain. This essay will explain the reasons for my position.

To begin with, the main reason why I support this view is that can produce diabetics illness . this is because when a diabetics paitent taking high level of sugar food and drink that create lively impact on their health. When sugar level are high in their diet sometimes it would be the cause of diabetics levels high and patient feel weakness and also it's due to suddently die. Moreover, people are more likely to taked sugary food daily. Which can effect on individuals personal growth and physical health illness. Therefore, it is clear that high-rise of sugar level on eating and drinking catagories are causes many health problems.

Another significant reason is that it also impact on their excessive weight gain. In other words, sweet are proverbly help to gaining weight. Thus the point sweets incridiends are harmful for an excessive weightig person. For instance, the last year one of my cousin fighting with excessive weight for eating sweetest food . He did not cotrol his weight and doctor said his weight excess than his age. As a result, sweet foods and drink are very harm for individuals healthy life.

In conclusion, although there may be some arguments against this policy, I strongly think that for reducing health risk sugary products should not be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I firmly would to say people should take limited sugar on their daily diet. Which can provide long-term healthy benefits for both physically and personally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt, but there is a significant contradiction in the conclusion. While you state in the introduction that you agree with making sugary products more expensive, the conclusion states that 'sugary products should not be more expensive.' This inconsistency makes your position unclear. Furthermore, the ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For example, the discussion on diabetes is vague and lacks a clear link to the proposed solution of taxation. To improve, ensure your arguments consistently support your thesis throughout the entire essay and provide more specific, logical explanations for how taxation would influence consumer behavior.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay uses basic paragraphing and some cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'In conclusion.' However, the logical flow is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'Wheres others holds the opposite opinion' which is a sentence fragment. The transition between ideas is often mechanical, and the lack of clear, logical progression makes the argument difficult to follow in places. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that connects back to the main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent errors in word choice and word form, such as 'diabetics illness' instead of 'diabetes' and 'high-rise of sugar level' instead of 'high sugar levels.' You also use non-standard phrasing like 'sweet are proverbly help' and 'sweetest food.' These errors occasionally impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning the correct collocations for health-related topics and practice using more precise academic vocabulary rather than relying on repetitive or incorrectly formed words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('industries produced contain'), article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'Which can effect on individuals personal growth'). Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper punctuation, such as 'this is because when a diabetics paitent taking high level of sugar food and drink that create lively impact on their health.' The range of structures is limited, and the errors are persistent throughout the text. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve your score.

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