Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays the consumption of ready made snacks and sugar products has increased so much due to the low cost and it's availability. These products are available in all over the public places and the packaging is so attractive that any on could buy and try it.

Let's begin with the product it self In current time the major health problems are caused by sugary snacks and soft drinks ; but no one knows about it ; they just blamed to the the alcohol and smoking. The sugar is affecting our body slowly- it's like a slow poison. for instant-"According to the times of India news channel- the major health problems in current time is obesity and diabetes."

In addition there are so many soft drink products which contains 40 percent sugar in a cane; people are just enjoying that like a healthy drink. It is because of the marketing and attractive packaging. For example- There are so many companies who have been achieved mass-production; and sell the product in very less amount of money which attracts the individuals to buy and give it a try". I believe that if the price will increase the demands and over eating will eventually decrease. This is a good initiative to promote a healthy life over a sugary snacks. because if the price will increase then people automatically avoid unnecessary sugary products and buy the needed one; healthy one .

To conclude I personally believe that sugar is the most dangerous and sweet; slow poison for our body and over consumption of it will causes severe health problems So to stop the consumption of sugary products- snacks and soft drinks it should be necessary to increase the price.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of increasing prices to reduce sugar consumption. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention health issues like obesity and diabetes, the argument regarding price elasticity is underdeveloped. You state that higher prices will lead to lower demand, but you do not explore the potential counter-arguments or the broader socioeconomic impact, which would be necessary for a higher band. The supporting examples, such as the reference to the 'Times of India', are somewhat generic and lack depth. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, phrases like 'Let's begin with the product it self' are informal and do not serve as effective transitions. There are also issues with punctuation, such as the misuse of semicolons and the lack of proper sentence boundaries, which disrupts the flow of ideas. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'nevertheless') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects logically to the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'very less amount of money' and 'give it a try', which are not appropriate for an academic essay. There are also errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'it's availability' (should be 'its') and 'mass-production' used as a verb. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to economics and health, while ensuring that your word choices are grammatically accurate and stylistically formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'over consumption... will causes'), incorrect use of articles, and persistent punctuation errors, particularly with the misuse of semicolons and hyphens. The sentence structure is often fragmented, which affects the overall readability. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of commas and periods, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for these recurring errors is essential.

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