Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is argued that food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. It is claimed that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I completely disagree with this argument because by increasing prices we should not overcome this problem.
On one hand, many products which are made by industries contains high level of sugar which might causes many health issues. By making sugary products more expensive to buy should not an appropriate solution to this problem due to the fact many sugary products are already extremely expensive. We should not decrease its consumption by applying this strategy because making products expensive is not a long-term solution. For instance, once the prices of bakery products had increased by government in Japan but the individuals still bought sugary food products according to their needs.
On the other hand, by rosing price these products we should not handle this problem. We should reduce its consumption by spreading awareness about the issues that occur due to eating sugary products on the products packing and by social media or by physicians. The most obvious approach to this problem to make individuals aware about health issues of using sugary drink and food products which contains high sugar levels. For example, many drugs producing company mentions effects of their products on their packs in order to make people aware about there harmful health problems.
To conclude, making sugary products expensive is not an appropriate solution for less consumption but the awareness about its products health issues plays an important role to control its consumption. Personally, I believe we should solve this problem only by spreading awareness about its issues that might cause more serious problem with the passage of time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position against the proposed tax. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. While you provide a relevant example regarding Japan, the explanation of why price increases are ineffective remains superficial. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the economic or psychological reasons why price hikes fail, rather than simply restating that they are not a long-term solution. The alternative suggestion of awareness campaigns is relevant, but the supporting example regarding 'drugs producing company' is slightly unclear and could be more precisely articulated to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' to signal shifts in your argument. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'by rosing price these products we should not handle this problem'. Additionally, some referencing is imprecise, which occasionally makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Improving the variety and naturalness of your linking words would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'bakery products', 'consumption', and 'awareness'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and minor errors, such as 'rosing price' (rising prices) and 'drugs producing company' (pharmaceutical companies). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on repetitive phrasing. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'products which are made by industries contains' (subject-verb agreement error), 'might causes' (incorrect verb form), and 'should not an appropriate solution' (missing verb). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentence constructions are clunky. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of modal verbs would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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