Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The products which have more levels of sugar trigger different health problems for the people. People only make sure its less use, if the government increases the costs of the products which have more sugary ingredients. I wholeheartedly agree with this perspective, which is about that sugary products must be more expensive.

Nowadays, different companies are hectic in making sugary products, due to the fact that, demands for these products are increasing to a substantial extent. It is then, individuals who are more engaging in buying sugary products, they not merely detrimental their overall well being but also facing the serious diseases like obesity and heart attacks. A prime instance is the individuals of my society who are using more sugary products and facing the different diseases like failure of heart receptors, their pancreas are out of order which is the result in low or high blood sugar levels.

Secondly, there should be a need of reducing these products by increasing the prices of these products. In fact, the government should also play a crucial role in this regard by executing strict rules on the shops which are engaging in selling out these products. Another significant factor is awareness between the people by running campaigns on the social media. In this regard, the government should invest in these campaigns and also in different seminars, which are discussing the adverse impacts of sugary products on their well being.

To put it briefly, the excess use of sugar not only reduces the persons life span but also trigger distinct diseases in them. In this regard, the government should play a vital role by increasing the costs of these products, so that people would ensure the less use of these products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating an agreement with the proposal to increase taxes on sugary products. The main ideas—health risks and the need for government intervention—are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the discussion on 'failure of heart receptors' and 'pancreas out of order' lacks medical accuracy and depth, making the argument feel slightly superficial. While the position is consistent throughout, the supporting points could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. The response covers all parts of the task, but the explanation of why price increases would specifically lead to behavioral change is somewhat brief.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Secondly', 'In fact', and 'To put it briefly', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'It is then, individuals who are more engaging in buying'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within paragraphs occasionally falters due to awkward phrasing, which prevents the response from reaching the next band level.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'detrimental', 'substantial extent', and 'adverse impacts'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'hectic in making' (instead of 'busy producing') and 'engaging in buying' (instead of 'tending to buy'). These errors do not impede communication, but they demonstrate a limited control over more sophisticated lexical items, keeping the score in the 6.0 range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'People only make sure its less use' and 'the excess use of sugar... trigger distinct diseases' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with article usage and awkward phrasing that persist throughout the text. While these errors rarely impede the overall meaning, the frequency of these slips prevents the essay from achieving a higher score for grammatical accuracy.

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