Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I totally agree with statement that "Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many serious health problem". The serious health problem like sugar, life of a sugar patient is like life in hell. i will support my answer with the following reasons:

First of all, I totally stand with this statement because the sugar is injurious to health. It causes many serious health problem. The life of a sugar patient is not easy as we think. A sugar patient lives like he is living in hell. because the sugar is a serious problem it can cause the death. However all people know about the drawbacks of the sugar still they use sugar for tea, coffee or any other drink which they like to drink. I also use sugar for tea , lemonade and for my coffee . The best way to get rid off from it is to stop the production of the sugar and the sugar mills should be banned.

Secondly, The second statement "Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar". This statement is also understandable but this is not the only way to reduce the use of the sugary products. Because this is only for the poor people or middle class people however the people who are so rich can by the sugar which is made more expensive. Because in this age the rich people can buy anything. In my opinion to reduce the use of sugar, we need to eliminate the production of sugar.

At last, I will recommend that the production of sugar should be stopped and also aware the people from the disadvantages of the sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but lacks the depth required for a higher band. While you clearly state your agreement, the arguments are repetitive and rely on personal anecdotes rather than broader societal or economic analysis. The suggestion to 'ban sugar mills' is an extreme solution that lacks logical development or consideration of practical implications. To improve, focus on developing your ideas with more sophisticated reasoning, such as discussing the impact on public health budgets or the effectiveness of 'sin taxes' in other countries. The response is somewhat simplistic in its approach to a complex socio-economic issue.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay uses basic cohesive devices like 'First of all' and 'Secondly', which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the internal flow within paragraphs is hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of varied linking words. Some sentences are short and choppy, which disrupts the logical flow. To improve, try using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'nevertheless') and ensure that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one rather than restating the same point.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'sugar' and 'problem' throughout the text, which restricts your ability to express ideas with precision. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'life of a sugar patient' (better: 'diabetic patient') and 'get rid off from it'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the reliance on basic, informal language prevents a higher score. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic or topic-specific terms would significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with articles ('the sugar'), subject-verb agreement, and punctuation (e.g., spaces before commas). While the errors do not completely prevent communication, they are persistent and noticeable. To reach a higher band, you need to demonstrate control over more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses, conditionals, or passive voice, while ensuring that your basic grammar remains accurate. Proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms is essential.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.