Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Yes I agree with that. While sugar provide a brust of energy it can cause many long term health issues when consumed in access. Because I also have many health issue which is due to sugar. My father have diabetes since he was 20 his bones have become weaker. There are also so much diseases due to sugar. Because it causes weight gain and it also cause heart diseases. it can also cause liver problem and many health problems in young age. Like my young boys and girls having acne on their faces and they are using different products on their face which can even damage their skin more. It can also cause skin aging wrinkles on the face. It can disturb our sleep cycle and can cause stress. Moreover it can cause effect like mood changes and blood pressure issue in young and old people and it can increase the risk of brain diseases. Many people are coming to hospital for liver transplant, brain surgeries, heart issues blood pressure issues. I think the main problem is that people don't have awareness about sugar effect on their health and there are too many product with extreme sugar like chocolates breads juices etc. I don't think increasing prices gonna be good idea. I think awareness is best option if people know what they are eating and it can cause them many health problem's so they can avoid it for their health. At last sugar is nothing more than just empty calories or non healthy fat.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by stating a clear position, although the argument is somewhat contradictory. You initially agree with the premise but then argue against the proposed solution of increasing prices, suggesting awareness instead. While you provide several examples of health issues, the development of these ideas is limited and repetitive. The essay lacks a formal structure, such as distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes the argument feel like a list of points rather than a cohesive discussion. To improve, ensure you fully explore the implications of your position and structure your response into clear, logical paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks paragraphing, which is a significant issue for coherence. The text is presented as a single block, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices, such as 'Moreover' and 'At last', they are used inconsistently. The flow between sentences is often abrupt, and the lack of clear topic sentences means the reader has to work harder to understand the logical development of your argument. Using clear paragraph breaks for your introduction, main arguments, and conclusion would greatly improve the readability and structure of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive and lacks precision. You frequently use basic terms like 'many health problems' and 'causes'. There are also some noticeable errors in word choice and form, such as 'brust' (burst), 'access' (excess), and 'so much diseases' (so many diseases). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary related to health and economics, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations. For example, instead of repeating 'causes', use synonyms like 'triggers', 'contributes to', or 'leads to'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'sugar provide' (provides), 'My father have' (has), and 'it also cause' (causes). Additionally, there are errors with pluralization, such as 'problem's' (problems) and 'so much diseases' (so many diseases). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited use of complex grammatical forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization rules, and try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or conditional sentences, while ensuring they are punctuated correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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