Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the last 20 years, the fast and vibrant lifestyle of human beings has created many beneficial things in their lives but at the cost of some harmful habits. Now, individuals prefer fast food due to time issues and convenience for them. Fast food consumption creates many health issues, like diabetes, overweight, and high blood pressure. I strongly agree that fast food should be made more expensive so that only a few could afford it.

Firstly, if fast food prices increase and its affordability to customers declines, then it will have a positive impact on the health of people. By eating less food, it means that there will be less consumption of sugar and oil in daily routine. Additionally, a lot of cheese on a pizza not only just increases the cholesterol level in the human body but also disturbs the process for making insulin in the body. Because of less insulin and high cholesterol in human blood, then the individual will move towards a diabetes case. As in the USA, due to high consumption of fast food, the USA ranked first in overweight persons as well as diabetic patients in the last year's survey by the health department.

Secondly, when fast food becomes expensive, then people will prefer to eat healthy food, which will not just burden people but also the government in the form of a health budget. Furthermore, due to increasing cases of diabetic patients, the budget for every government increased in the form to import diabetic medicines. For example, 5 years ago the estimated budget of Pakistan was 125 million rupees for each year, but now, due to strict policies and making fast food expensive, it fell to 88 million rupees for the last year.

In conclusion, the government should make strict policies and make fast food expensive so that burden on government as well as individuals will decline and that budget should be spend on other development projects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have provided relevant reasons, such as the impact on public health and government expenditure, and supported them with examples. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the link between 'less food' and 'less consumption of sugar' is a bit simplistic, and the example regarding Pakistan's budget, while specific, lacks a clear logical connection to the price of fast food alone. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more thoroughly explored and that the examples provided directly and logically support the claims made.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'then' to connect clauses. Referencing is generally clear, but some sentences feel slightly disjointed due to the structure of the arguments. Improving the flow between sentences by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a strong, unified focus would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'vibrant lifestyle,' 'affordability,' and 'development projects.' There are some instances of slightly unnatural collocations, such as 'disturbs the process for making insulin' or 'burden on government.' While these do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise word choice. You attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary related to health and economics, which is good, but you should focus on refining your usage of these terms to ensure they sound more natural and academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the budget for every government increased in the form to import' and 'that budget should be spend,' which should be 'spent.' Additionally, some phrasing is slightly awkward, such as 'the USA ranked first in overweight persons.' While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur frequently enough to keep the score in the 6.0 range. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms will help improve your accuracy.

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