Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the last 20 years, the fast and vibrant lifestyle of human beings has created many beneficial things in their lives but at the cost of some harmful habits. Now, individuals prefer fast food due to time issues and convenience for them. Fast food consumption creates many health issues, like diabetes, overweight, and high blood pressure. I strongly agree that fast food should be made more expensive so that only a few could afford it. Firstly, if fast food prices increase and its affordability to customers declines, then it will have a positive impact on the health of people. By eating less food, it means that there will be less consumption of sugar and oil in daily routine. Additionally, a lot of cheese on a pizza not only just increases the cholesterol level in the human body but also disturbs the process for making insulin in the body. Because of less insulin and high cholesterol in human blood, then the individual will move towards a diabetes case. As in the USA, due to high consumption of fast food, the USA ranked first in overweight persons as well as diabetic patients in the last year's survey by the health department. Secondly, when fast food becomes expensive, then people will prefer to eat healthy food, which will not just burden people but also the government in the form of a health budget. Furthermore, due to increasing cases of diabetic patients, the budget for every government increased in the form to import diabetic medicines. For example, 5 years ago the estimated budget of Pakistan was 125 million rupees for each year, but now, due to strict policies and making fast food expensive, it fell to 88 million rupees for the last year. In conclusion, the government should make strict policies and make fast food expensive so that the burden on the government as well as individuals will decline and that the budget should be spent on other development projects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have clearly stated your position and maintained it throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant, particularly the link between fast food consumption, health issues, and government expenditure. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. While the example regarding Pakistan is specific, the logic regarding the 'USA' is a bit generalized. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are fully explored rather than just stated. For instance, you could have elaborated more on the socio-economic implications of a 'sugar tax' beyond just the government budget. Overall, you have addressed all parts of the prompt effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'Furthermore' to signal the progression of your argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'then' to connect clauses. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the reference between sentences is always smooth, as some sentences feel slightly disjointed, such as the transition between the health impact and the government budget.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'vibrant lifestyle', 'affordability', and 'cholesterol level'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices or phrasing, such as 'disturbs the process for making insulin' (should be 'impairs insulin production') and 'move towards a diabetes case'. While these do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your argument. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and academic vocabulary that fits the context of a formal essay more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the USA', 'the human body'), prepositions, and sentence construction (e.g., 'By eating less food, it means that...'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'the budget for every government increased in the form to import diabetic medicines'. These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your point. Increasing your control over complex sentence structures and refining your use of articles would significantly improve your score.

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