Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In this contemporary society, the usage of sugar is the main reason for health problems like obesity, high blood sugar and fatty liver. Many companies produce food and drink which contain high level of sugar, which causes many health issues. I firmly agree that that sugary products should be made more expensive. So that, the consumption of sugary products will be decreased.
The sugar is an highly processed item, which causes several heal the related issues. To label the sugar more expensive and make it less consumable. The Government should impose high taxes on sugary products like soft drinks, chocolates and biscuits, by consumption of these regularly causes obesity and high blood sugar. For example, in the USA most of the people are dealt with obesity as a survey conducted by Standford school of research. To make it less consumable Government should impose and take a strict action and limit the use of sugar and its manufactured products in the market.
However, sugar is dangerous affects the health, but if we use in limit it will be good source. For Instance, in India many people celebrate festivals and most commonly know traditions is the sweets with are made using sugar, without these Indian festivals can be fulfilled. So, consumption of sugar is good, if used in a certain quantity and Majority of the farmers in Southern part of India rely more on cultivation of sugar in their farms
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position agreeing that sugary products should be made more expensive. However, there is a penalty applied because the text falls short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 238 words. While the writer attempts to present supporting ideas regarding health problems and taxation, the development is somewhat limited and repetitive. The third paragraph introduces a counterpoint about cultural traditions in India and farming, but it is underdeveloped and slightly contradictory regarding whether sugar consumption is ultimately good or bad. Consequently, the ideas are not fully extended, placing the task achievement score at band 5.5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into three paragraphs, providing an introduction, body, and conclusion-like counterargument. However, the logical progression is disrupted by mechanical and faulty cohesive devices. For instance, sentences like 'So that, the consumption of sugary products will be decreased' and starting a sentence with 'However, sugar is dangerous affects the health' demonstrate inadequate and awkward linking. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and transitions between sentences can be abrupt. While an overall organizational structure is attempted, the faulty use of cohesive devices and mechanical referencing keep this criterion at band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but exhibits noticeable limitations and errors in word choice and collocation. Examples include 'heal the related issues' instead of health-related issues, 'an highly processed item', and 'without these Indian festivals can be fulfilled' where the writer likely meant 'cannot be fulfilled'. While the student attempts less common items such as 'contemporary society' and 'consumption', errors in spelling, word formation, and collocation cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the score from rising above band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. Frequent errors occur, such as fragment sentences ('So that, the consumption of sugary products will be decreased.'), incorrect preposition use ('dealt with obesity'), and grammatical slips like 'by consumption of these regularly causes'. Furthermore, clauses are frequently tangled, as seen in 'many people celebrate festivals and most commonly know traditions is the sweets with are made using sugar'. These frequent errors frequently impede smooth reading, justifying a band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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