Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

nowadays very big issus for sugar because it not good health and encourage bellyfat and people face health issus i think this taste is very good but sugar encourage health problem because someshopkeeper are not hygine and it are use made for sweet dissces like gluabjaman,cookie,waffle and use other things, nowadays every fastival,birthday and happines people can use sweet'dissces ! people have to go in market and other person buy sugar and sweet dissces ! some people have see this and sugar is expensive some people did not buy sugar and other sweet,dissces because some people have money problem, i think government can banned sugar because many reasons banned for the sugar because sugar can ercourage 'fat,health problem and people might sugar and people can face diabetcs problem, nowadays after diner people have to eat for sweet dissces, i think this is one of the most reasons people have to face health problem, i think government can encourage price, some can buy this because some people have to good fincial conditon and they are buy this and face health problem i think government should banned the sugar and provide the sugarfree things like sugarfree cold drink,cookie,and other things i think people can avoid sugar becasue it is not good for health and I would people can buy sugarfree things and protect the health, now is time people can not avoid sugar and in future every people can face many health problem,and consume healthy food and avoid sugar things to protect health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether sugary products should be made more expensive or banned to tackle health issues like diabetes and obesity. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. The writer states a position agreeing with government intervention and suggests banning sugar or making it more expensive, mentioning examples like 'gluabjaman,cookie,waffle' and 'sugarfree cold drink'. The reasoning is somewhat underdeveloped and tends to circle around the same points regarding health problems and financial capability without deep extension. While all parts of the prompt are touched upon, the lack of structured argumentation places this submission within the Band 5 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response suffers from significant issues in structural cohesion and organization. The entire text is written as a single, massive run-on paragraph without any division into an introduction, body paragraphs, or a conclusion, which violates basic essay structure. Sentences are chained together with repetitive use of conjunctions like 'and' and conversational phrases such as 'i think', creating a stream-of-consciousness effect rather than a logically sequenced argument. Furthermore, referencing and cohesive devices are inadequate, making progression difficult to follow at times. These features align closely with the Band 4 descriptors for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple words such as 'good', 'bad', 'food', 'health', and 'sugar'. There are numerous errors in word formation, spelling, and collocation, such as 'issus' instead of issues, 'fincial' instead of financial, 'fastival' instead of festival, and 'sweet'dissces'. Less common lexical items are attempted with frequent inaccuracy, such as 'ercourage 'fat'. While the intended meaning can generally be discerned, the limited range and repetitive nature of the vocabulary place it firmly at Band 4.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting almost entirely of simple sentences or poorly linked clauses run together with commas instead of proper punctuation. There is a complete lack of complex sentence structures used accurately. Frequent errors in punctuation, capitalization, and verb forms (e.g., 'sugar can ercourage', 'people might sugar', 'government can banned') cause considerable strain for the reader. There are very few error-free sentences in the text. These persistent grammatical inaccuracies and lack of structural variety reflect the Band 4 descriptors.

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