Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays very big issues for sugar because it not good health and encourage belly fats and people face health issues. i think this taste is very good but sugar encourage health problem because some shopkeeper are not hygiene and it is are use made for sweet dishes like gluab jamun cookie,waffle and use other things. nowadays every festivals birthday and happiness people can use sweet disdes. people have to go in market and other person buy sugar and sweet dishes ! some people have see this and sugar is expensive some people did not buy sugar and other sweet dishes because some people have money problem. think government can ban sugar because many reasons banned for the sugar because sugar can causes fat health problem and people might sugar and people can face diabites problem, nowadays after dinner people have to eat for sweet dishes. i think this is one of the most reasons people have to face health problem. i think government can encourage price, some can buy this because some people have to good financials conditon and they are buy this and face health problem i think government should banned the sugar and provide the sugar free things like sugar free cold drink,cookie,and other things i think people can avoid sugar. because it is not good for health and I would people can buy sugar free things and protect the health, now is time people can not avoid sugar and in future every people can face many health problem,and consume healthy food and avoid sugar things to protect health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether sugary products should be made more expensive to reduce consumption. A position is stated, with the writer suggesting that the government should raise prices or even ban sugar, while also offering alternatives like sugar-free products. However, the ideas are presented in a repetitive and somewhat disjointed manner, lacking full extension and coherent academic support. For instance, the mention of festivals and shopkeepers does not directly build a well-reasoned argument about taxation. The arguments tend to circle back to the same points about health and pricing without deepening the analysis. As a result, the task response falls under the Band 5 descriptor, where ideas are limited, under-developed, and the position is not always clearly sustained throughout the piece.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text lacks standard paragraphing, appearing instead as a single block of text which significantly hinders its overall coherence and logical progression. There is a lack of clear overall progression, as ideas tend to jump randomly between health problems, festivals, financial conditions, and government bans without clear transitional phrases. Cohesive devices are either missing or repetitive (e.g., the frequent use of 'i think' and 'because'). Pronoun referencing and linking words are inadequately managed, causing the reader to struggle in following a clear line of thought. These features align closely with the Band 4 descriptors, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently and paragraphing is absent.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and restricted to everyday terms (e.g., 'very big issues', 'good health', 'sweet dishes', 'money problem'). There are noticeable lexical inadequacies and word choice errors, such as 'encourage belly fats' instead of 'promote weight gain' or 'contribute to obesity', and 'diabites' which contains a spelling error. The writer attempts to use less common items like 'financials conditon' (improper collocation) and 'sugar free things', but these attempts are frequently flawed. The range is minimally adequate to express basic thoughts, but frequent inaccuracies and narrow vocabulary placement restrict the score to Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences rely on simple formulations joined by coordinating or subordinating conjunctions in a run-on style (e.g., 'i think government can encourage price, some can buy this because some people have to good financials conditon and they are buy this...'). Attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty, leading to severe grammatical breakdowns and lack of punctuation boundaries. Errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence boundaries are extremely frequent and impede communication throughout the text. These features are characteristic of Band 4, where errors are frequent and often distort the intended meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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