Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In modern times, the issue of sugar has become highly controversial. There are those who say that many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health issues. However, other people believe that its not true. From my perspective, I largely agree this topic and this essay will explain why.

The primary reason for my agreement is that people can face many kind of disease such as Diabetes, Obesity (weight gain),Tooth Decay (cavities), Heart, Fatty Liver , High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol. For example, high levels of sugar is very dangerous for individuals, people eat burger, pizza and this food is junk food and use sugar, which is many health problems. Moreover, if children eat sugar they can get many kind of disease such as tooth decay, and overweight. As a results, children can not play with other children, they can not running, and they can not eating for their tooth decay.

Another compelling argument is that the government should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. For instance, individuals can not buy sugary food. They always eat healthy food, because healthy food is reasonable prices. Furthermore, children can not buy this junk food, because they don't have money. However, parents should their children don't give money. Their always provide healthy food.

In conclusion, although sugar is important for food and drink, but high levels of sugar is very dangerous. Children and people should not eat sugary food. Additionally, government should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less suger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by stating a clear position of agreement, and attempts to develop ideas regarding health problems and government intervention. However, the development is limited and often repetitive. For example, listing diseases like 'Diabetes, Obesity, Tooth Decay, Heart, Fatty Liver' lacks further elaboration or connection to personal or general examples. The assertion that 'the government should be made more expensive' contains a grammatical error that muddies the task response, though the underlying meaning (taxing sugary products) is understood. Ideas are generally relevant, but the lack of fully developed supporting examples keeps this performance at a Band 5.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, which provides a basic structural framework. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and mechanical or misused cohesive devices, such as 'As a results' and 'However, parents should their children don't give money.' Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly with pronouns where antecedents are ambiguous. While the overarching layout attempts to follow an introduction-body-conclusion format, the flow of ideas is heavily hindered by disjointed phrasing, placing it firmly at a Band 5.0 level.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on high-frequency terms like 'sugar', 'food', 'health', and 'children'. There are notable lexical and collocational errors throughout the text, such as 'many kind of disease' instead of 'many kinds of disease', and 'can not running' instead of 'cannot run'. Furthermore, the phrase 'the government should be made more expensive' demonstrates a severe misuse of vocabulary. Although the intended meaning is communicated, the lexical limitations and persistent errors restrict the score to Band 4.5, rounded to Band 5.0 based on general adequacy for simple messages.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex or compound sentences are frequently faulty or ungrammatical, such as 'its not true' (missing apostrophe), 'people eat burger, pizza and this food is junk food and use sugar, which is many health problems' (run-on sentence with agreement errors), and 'Their always provide healthy food' (possessive/pronoun confusion). Punctuation and article usage are also erratic. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher grammar band score.

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