Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In this contemporary world, due to development in every sector many of the food and drink manufacturing companies are making products with high amount of sugar in it ,which makes it very unhealthy for every age group . i concur with this proclamation .the reason of which shall be discussed in upcoming paragraphs of writing.
To commence with ,sharing the reason behind making sugary products expensive,primarily it can lead to less consumption of such drink as people will stop wasting their money on sugary products. secondly,if consumption of such products will be reduces it can help in preventing plastic cans and bottles which will be helpful for environment and economy .
probing ahead with another pivotal aspect , in terms of making sugary products expensive many health problems can be reduces such as diabetes and sugar incline in children and elders .moreover,it can be helpful for overall development of children and elders health also for adults who are addicted to such sugary products .
to conclude,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the prompt by agreeing that sugary products should be made more expensive, and touches upon reasons like reduced consumption and health benefits. However, the response is severely restricted by its length, containing only 166 words, which falls well short of the 250-word minimum requirement. Because the essay is truncated and abruptly stops in the conclusion, the ideas are under-developed and lack sufficient extension and support. Furthermore, the inclusion of a point regarding plastic cans and bottles is somewhat tangential to the core debate on health and taxation. Due to the severe under-length penalty and limited development of ideas, the task response is constrained to Band 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay demonstrates some organizational structure through the use of standard introductory and transitional phrases such as 'To commence with' and 'probing ahead with another pivotal aspect'. However, paragraphing is poorly executed, particularly with the truncated conclusion that trails off into nothingness. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, such as 'the reason of which shall be discussed in upcoming paragraphs of writing', which is a memorized template phrase that does not fit the context naturally. Overall progression is hindered by the lack of fully developed body paragraphs and the incomplete final structure, placing coherence at a Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The lexical range is limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on basic or informal phrasing, such as 'high amount of sugar in it', 'wasting their money', and 'sugar incline'. There are noticeable word choice and collocation issues, such as 'sugar incline in children and elders', which sounds unnatural. Vocabulary attempts to address the topic are minimally adequate to convey basic meaning, but frequent lexical limitations and occasional awkwardness prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the lack of precise vocabulary keeps the score at a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The student exhibits severe control issues with basic punctuation, capitalization, and sentence boundaries. For example, there are multiple lowercase starts to sentences ('i concur', 'the reason', 'to commence with', 'secondly,if', 'to conclude,'), missing spaces after commas, and awkward run-on structures. While there is an attempt at complex sentences (e.g., 'primarily it can lead to less consumption of such drink as people will stop wasting their money'), errors in grammar and punctuation are frequent and persistent. The limited control over basic sentence mechanics and formatting results in a Band 4.5 score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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