Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

writing task-2

Nowaday, soft drinks become more popular in every house., many manufactured food and drinks products contains high level of sugar and also cause many health issues. While, some people say that sugar products should be made expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I totally agree with this statement discuss in next two paragraphs along with logical conclusion.

To commence with, many individuals say that manufactured food and drinks product contain high level of sugar and it cause a major health issues like diabetes, obesity, blood pressure and liver diseases. Moreover, increase the price of sugar products can discourage people from buying

The regultary. Many young people away

prefer to bury soft drinks, chocolates and other

sweet products because they are easily

available anywhere and relatively cheap. If

these products become more expensive, consumers

may is reduce their purchase or choose

healthier alternatives such as fruit juices

and sugar free drinks, for example, a research

in newyork revealed that 70% population

agree consider that higher price of soft drinks

it encourage people to to less buy. As a

result, if people consume everyday soft drinks

it's results major health concerns.

On the other hand, Excessive drinks of sugar

drinks and preserved food it leads to

health problems. Nowaday drinks and foods

are easily available and it very cheap in price

so everyone can afford very easily. whereas,

increasing the making Sugar products more

expensive could encourage people to develop

the healthier eating habits. Moreover, Governments

could use the extra tax and spread awareness

everywhere people known about the

drawmbacks of eatth edrinking soft drinks.

for instance, a survey was conducted by

government of India where 60% population

geliar that for soft drinks lead health concern.

Therefore, if the price of soft drinks increased significantly,

some people may prefer to buy water instead.

In conclusion, I agree that sugar food and drinks should be made more expensive because this can discourage excessive consumption and improve public health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position agreeing with the proposition to make sugary products more expensive. Relevant ideas regarding health issues like diabetes and obesity, as well as behavioural changes among consumers, are introduced. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive across body paragraphs. The essay states that higher prices encourage healthier alternatives and potential tax revenue for governments, but some explanations lack depth and logical progression. For example, the mention of surveys feels slightly unsubstantiated. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, positioning the response securely at Band 5.5 to 6.0. Due to the repetition and somewhat underdeveloped supporting points, a band score of 6.0 reflects the ability to present a relevant position with basic elaboration.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay attempts a logical organisation, dividing the response into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. There are issues with referencing and sentence flow, particularly visible in fragments and abrupt transitions such as 'The regultary. Many young people away prefer to bury soft drinks...' Furthermore, paragraphing is somewhat erratic, with awkward line breaks and disjointed sentences. Transitional phrases like 'To commence with' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the overall progression of ideas is hindered by grammatical and structural interruptions. These cohesion issues place the response at Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully using terms like 'manufactured food and drink products', 'obesity', 'blood pressure', and 'alternatives'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices throughout the text, such as 'Nowaday' instead of 'Nowadays', 'bury' instead of 'buy', 'regultary', and 'Excessive drinks of sugar drinks'. These errors occasionally cause minor confusion for the reader, though communication is generally maintained. Because the vocabulary attempts are marred by frequent spelling and word-formation slips, the lexical resource fits the Band 5.0 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as 'While, some people say that sugar products should be made expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.' However, accuracy is weak, with a high frequency of grammatical errors including tense inconsistencies, missing prepositions, and faulty subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufactured food and drinks products contains', 'it cause a major health issues', 'may is reduce'). Punctuation is also problematic, featuring stray full stops and fragmented sentences (e.g., 'in every house., many manufactured...'). Due to frequent errors that cause noticeable difficulty for the reader, this criterion warrants a Band 5.0.

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