Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is argued that a lot of food and beverages contain excessive amount of sugar, which contribute to various health problem. I agree with this statement because an increasing price of sugary products materials can be effective way to discouraging people to prefer high amount of sugar. my stance will be discussing in next paragraph.
To begin with, one of the main reasons for increasing the price of sugary material is that higher prices can encourage to consumer to reduce the sugar products, many people regularly purchased soft drinks, chocolate, ice cream and other processed items because they are affordable and easily available. However, if these products may expensive, the individual can reduce frequently to use of products. As a result, if they may reduce the use of sugar, they can leave better healthier life and lower risks of problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer and other decay.
Furthermore, other main important reasons to increase of price sugar can encourage people prefer to buy healthier items in daily life. when unhealthy food and cold drinks can more expensive, people can look to healthier food side. Such as natural foods, fresh vegetables, low-sugar juice. For instances, the costs of soft drinks may be expensive compared to bottle of water, so people can consume water and it should be both healthier and cheaper. Consequently, peoples can live longer and get better life.
To conclude, I firmly believe that significant rise cost of sugary products will lead to people would be consider low level of sugar and it will be more beneficial for live longer.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by clearly taking a position agreeing that sugary products should be made more expensive to tackle health issues. The writer extends relevant ideas, such as how higher prices would deter regular purchases of soft drinks and encourage people to consume healthier alternatives like water and vegetables. However, some ideas are repetitive or under-developed, and the introduction features a slightly confused transition sentence ('my stance will be discussing in next paragraph'). The overall argument is communicated effectively despite minor logical gaps, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an overall progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is frequently mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To begin with', 'However, if these products may expensive', and 'Consequently, peoples can live longer'. Referencing and logical transitions between sentences sometimes feel awkward, and punctuation and capitalization errors (e.g., starting sentences with lowercase letters like 'when' and 'my') disrupt the smooth flow of the text, placing this response firmly in Band 5.5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms related to health and diet such as 'processed items', 'high blood pressure', 'diabetes', and 'fresh vegetables'. However, there are frequent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'excessive amount of sugar', 'increasing price of sugary products materials', and 'frequently to use of products'. Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited accuracy, and pluralisation errors (e.g., 'peoples') detract from the overall precision, demonstrating a typical Band 5.5 lexical performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional structures like 'if these products may expensive, the individual can reduce frequently to use of products'. However, the text contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, particularly involving verb tenses, modal verbs, prepositions, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'contribute to various health problem', 'an increasing price... can be effective way to discouraging'). Furthermore, basic punctuation and capitalization rules are frequently neglected. While meaning is generally recoverable, the high density of structural errors limits the score to Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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