Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent year, a growing number of people use sugar in their daily life meal such as food and drink which contain a huge amount of sugar which make a wide variety of health-related issues. Hence authority should need to aware individuals to use a minimal amount of sugar through made sugar products too expensive. I completely agree with the point of view because sugar products cause so many health-related obstacles such as obesity, higher or lower sugar level, fitness etc.

To commence with, there are numerous number of products available in local and international markets that have a vast amount of sugar and public are not knowing about their causes and bad effects. On the major challenge obesity. To elaborate it, an increasing number of people face problems related to obesity because they eat so many sugar in their foods and drinks without any knowledge. As a result, they have more and more weight and cannot afford to get from the place to do work and walk outside. To cite an example, Many Pakistani street food and drink contain a huge amount of sugar and we eat it on the regular basis by do not knowing it causes. Hence, by making these kinds of food and drink more expensive can lead to encourage individual to perhabe from these type of meal.

After that, a growing number of people face health problems due to sugar products such as higher and lower level of sugar and fitness. In the other words, when we eat meal and they have a large amount of sugar they cause our stomach, increase heart rate, and unbalanced heart pulse, these are very noticeable challenges we face every day without any awareness from our elder side nor from government. For instance, many Pakistani people stomach and liver have been cause by sugar products without knowing it, but it will showcase it in the future. Resultantly, authorities should need to take sudden action against the use of high level sugar by making sugar related products more expensive and shor in the local markets.

In conclusion, while obesity is the major cause of sugar products which should be considered by the government to overcome this issues. Consequently, health-related problems like increasing and decreasing heart rate and stomach problems is also seen by the vast amount of sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that sugary products should be made more expensive to tackle health issues like obesity. The main ideas, such as the impact of sugar on weight and health problems, are presented and supported with examples like Pakistani street food and drink. However, the development of ideas lacks full clarity and precision due to frequent repetition and vagueness. For instance, the discussion on 'higher or lower sugar level and fitness' is somewhat underdeveloped and circular. While all parts of the task are addressed, the overall execution places it firmly in the mid-range of task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear attempts at paragraphing and sequencing ideas ('To commence with', 'After that', 'In conclusion'). However, cohesion is often mechanical and faulty. Phrases like 'After that' are inappropriate for formal academic writing, and referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in confusing pronoun shifts ('when we eat meal and they have a large amount of sugar they cause our stomach'). Furthermore, transitional devices are sometimes over-used or unnatural, leading to a bumpy flow that stops short of Band 7 logical progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, touching upon topics like 'health-related issues', 'obesity', and 'authorities'. However, there are frequent word choice and collocation errors that impede smooth reading, such as 'use sugar in their daily life meal', 'sugar related products', and 'shor in the local markets' (likely meaning 'short' or restricted). Less common lexical items are attempted but often misused, and minor spelling or morphological errors ('perhabe' instead of perhaps or refrain, 'cause' instead of caused) limit the score to a 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though many complex structures are faulty or awkwardly phrased. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including tense inconsistencies ('In recent year, a growing number of people use'), missing prepositions, and agreement errors ('many Pakistani people stomach and liver have been cause'). Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences lacking appropriate conjunctions or full stops. These errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader at times, placing the performance at a Band 5.0 level.

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