Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many processed foods and drinks contain unhealthy levels of sugar which deteriorates health. In order to disencourage people to avoid sugary foods, they must be made unaffordable to buy. I totally agree with this stance because excessive intake of sugar can lead to increase prevalance of obesity and diabetes. Another reason is that it has devastating consequences on our planet's atmosphere.

First and foremost, substantial consumption of sugary diet can cause debilitating diseases. The primary reason for that is sugary foods affect our insulin levels which detiorates our body's glucose mechanism leading to obesity and diabetes. As a consequence, affected individuals will not be able to perform daily chores, thereby impacting their quality of life. It is important to alleviate these consequences by making such sugar processed foods unaffordable and expensive for the public. For example, the government has introduced inexpensive low sugary foods without affecting the sweet taste to attract individuals. Such initiative has eliminated many severe health problems.

Secondly, such manufactured foods and drinks produce significant carbondioxide emissions which affect our ecosystem. This is due to the fact that factories will make more sugary foods and that increase the release of harmful gases leading to global warming. As a result, this will impact our health causing severe illnesses and many various health problems. Therefore, making these products more expensive will lead to avoidance and factories will make less of such foods and drinks. For instance, the authorities have imposed a sugar tax which caused factories to manufacture less sugary products in the market.

In conclusion, I completely agree with this view because it will help individuals to buy less sugary foods and drinks and there will be declining rates of severe health problems like obesity and diabetes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position agreeing with the proposition that sugary products should be made more expensive. The ideas are relevant, discussing both health impacts, such as obesity and diabetes, and an unexpected point regarding environmental consequences. However, the development of the second main body paragraph concerning greenhouse gas emissions is somewhat forced and less relevant to the core debate of public health economics. The first paragraph effectively links price increases to health outcomes, although the example regarding inexpensive low-sugar foods introduces a slight contradiction to the notion of making sugary products unaffordable. Overall, all parts of the task are addressed, earning a Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is structured logically with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a clear conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct main ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader, such as 'First and foremost' and 'Secondly', establishing a clear organisational framework. However, referencing and transitional phrases occasionally feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the transition 'Secondly, such manufactured foods and drinks produce significant carbon dioxide emissions...' transitions smoothly enough, but the overall logical progression suffers slightly from the tenuous link between sugar and atmospheric damage. Cohesion overall is sufficient to warrant a Band 7.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'prevalence', 'debilitating', 'alleviate', and 'ecosystem'. However, there are notable instances of imprecise word choice and unnatural collocation. For example, the phrase 'disencourage people to avoid' contains contradictory double negation and awkward word formation. Additionally, 'carbontioxide' is spelled as one word, and 'sugar processed foods' should be 'sugar-processed' or 'processed sugary foods'. Despite these lexical slips and occasional inaccuracies, the vocabulary is generally functional and allows the message to be communicated clearly, fitting the Band 6.0 descriptor well.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional and relative clauses. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'which causes many health problems' (subject-verb agreement where 'causes' should be 'cause' to match 'products' or 'levels'), 'increase prevalance' (missing article 'an'), and 'such initiative' (missing article 'such an'). Furthermore, 'detiorates' is misspelled. While these errors occur regularly throughout the text, they rarely impede overall communication or obscure the writer's meaning, supporting a solid Band 6.0 score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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