Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In today's era, people are dependes on fast food due to many reason. In the fast food they use many types of indigrents which are made from many chemical and other naturall productus. This contain a lost of suger and high fat calaries which is dangers for people health. Many people aruge that colored drink and packet food sholud be banne in the market. In this essay, I will agree with stetment, the products which is harmfull for kids will be sold on high price.
To begin with, there thare huge resone why people aginst the suggery products. Firstly, nowadays there have a lots of health problem is watching in individuals. For insted, Diabitis, heartattect and many more life threding problem. Acoording to WHO 30% of peolpe have a diabitis not becuse of the genetics but due to the consuption of fast food, and every day 15% pepole died through heart dieses.Secondly, children born eith difficulty such as animiya and vitamin deficiancy which caused major problem like carcinoma. Thus, contolling the fast food congeption will be necessory for healthy society.
On the other hand, If the government should take the some steps against the comapany how use the worst chemical in food. For example, In France they have stict rules for the soft drink comapny, they banned food clolores. So that they use naturall resorces for drink like in other contrary they use satureted sugger nut in France they use naturall fritus jucies. Other thingh the charge a bitt more on this types of suggery products. Therefor socity atomaticall controll to buy such a food and it will be help to people to make a more healthest .
In conclusion, Government should incurege people to buy healthy food then buing redymed. No one can denied that todys word is so fast and every one go for the jobs so they have no time to make home made food so that fast food comapny if use good sourse of products which actually help to people helath.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of sugar in manufactured food and drink products and whether they should be more expensive. The student takes a clear position in the introduction ("I will agree with stetment, the products which is harmfull for kids will be sold on high price"). However, the ideas are often under-developed and lack extension. For instance, statistical claims such as "30% of peolpe have a diabitis" are unsupported and generalisations are broad. While all parts of the prompt are touched upon, the arguments remain somewhat superficial and rely on repetition. Therefore, this performance fits the Band 5 descriptors where the task is addressed, but ideas remain limited and under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, showing a basic structural organisation with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing sentence sequencing. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often inaccurate or misused (e.g., "To begin with, there thare huge resone why people aginst the suggery products", "On the other hand, If the government should take the some steps"). Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of ideas lacks coherence. Referencing is also unclear at times, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical development of points. This aligns well with the Band 5 criteria.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The lexical resource is limited and heavily impacted by spelling and word-choice errors that frequently impede communication. The student attempts to use some topic-related vocabulary such as "chemical", "natrall productus", and "carcinoma", but misspells numerous common and less common words severely (e.g., "dependes", "indigrents", "suger", "dangers", "aruge", "sholud", "banne", "harmfull", "thare", "resone", "suggery", "Diabitis", "heartattect", "threding", "Acoording", "animiya", "deficiancy", "contolling", "congeption", "necessory", "comapny", "clolores", "contrary", "satureted", "fritus", "jucies", "Thingh", "automaticall", "healthest", "incurege", "redymed", "todys", "helath"). Due to the high density of errors, the lexical score is restricted to Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay. The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but errors are extremely frequent and often distort meaning (e.g., "people are dependes on fast food due to many reason", "If the government should take the some steps against the comapany how use the worst chemical", "fast food comapny if use good sourse of products which actually help to people helath"). Punctuation and subject-verb agreement are unreliable, and sentence structures are frequently incomplete or ungrammatical. These pervasive errors cause significant difficulty for the reader, matching the Band 4 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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