Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Increased concentration of sugar in drink products and processed foods have lead to increased possiblity of developing numerous type of health problems among masses. Price increases in sugar can lead to decreased consumption of sugar aiding in minimizing the risk of developing health problems. From my perspective, I partially support this statement as people would still find excuses to consume sugar.

Sugar has become an indispensable part of people's diet around the world, while in various cuisine sugar is used as a base for the final dish. As the population grows at an rapid rate demand for sugar is increasing simultaneoulsy forcing artificial sugar in their products to meet their demand giving rise to numerous health problems. This can be minimised by following fewer strategies such as increasing the prices of sugar leading to discouragement among consumers regarding consumption of sugar. however it will not resolve the issue in its entirity.

Awarness camps should be launched by the policy makers regarding the developments of health issues caused by excessive sugar concentration in processed foods and drinks. The effect that it has on the people of every age group and provide effective solution on cutting or reduction of this sugar products. Excessive consumption of this kind of products would gradually lead to development of diabetes with a variety of other health issues reducing life expectancy thereby increasing mortality. So it should be taken into consideration not only by the policymakers but also the responsibility of the citizens.

Although increased sugar prices can discourage consumers from consumption but the whole issue will not be resolved based on this simple approach. A proper step by step procedure should be issued by the authorities taking in account about the health of people and the consequences this products are having on them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the role of sugar in manufactured products, health issues, and whether raising prices is an effective solution. The writer presents a clear partial position in the introduction stating that 'people would still find excuses to consume sugar.' Main ideas are presented, such as the ubiquity of sugar, the necessity of awareness campaigns, and the limitation of tax-based approaches alone. However, some ideas remain underdeveloped and rely on general assertions rather than fully elaborated examples or specific contexts. For instance, the discussion on awareness campaigns is somewhat brief. Overall, all parts of the task are addressed, earning a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with logical division into paragraphs that focus on distinct aspects of the prompt. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty or mechanical. Words like 'however' are incorrectly capitalised mid-sentence, and referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in 'forcing artificial sugar in their products to meet their demand.' Paragraphing is used, though the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to establish a more rigorous logical progression. Therefore, the coherence and cohesion fit the Band 6.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'indispensable,' 'mortality,' and 'policymakers.' However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations throughout the text, including 'increased concentration of sugar... have lead' and 'entirity' (entirety), as well as 'Awarness' (awareness). While these errors do not severely impede overall communication, they restrict the lexical score. The range allows the student to convey their message, but the frequent slips keep it at a Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. However, grammatical accuracy is notably inconsistent. There are several subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'Increased concentration... have lead' (instead of has led), and structural slips like 'forcing artificial sugar in their products to meet their demand giving rise.' Punctuation errors are also present, including missing commas and lowercase letters at the start of sentences following periods, such as 'however it will not resolve.' Because these frequent errors cause occasional difficulty and distraction for the reader, the writing aligns with a Band 5.0.

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