Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A lot of processed food and drink products contain massive level of sugar that leads to several negative health impacts on our body. Individual think that, increasing the price of those products which contain sugar will reduce the demand. However, In my opinion I partially agree with the statement, In owing to this, I would say that just changing the price would not effect the demand and will create the chaos in public. Nevertheless, we should focus on multiple factors such as, awareness in public through social media, modification in the aesthetic looks of products, and ban of high sugary products.

I would say that, only rely on price would not solve the issue completely. Because, people will try to find alternatives if just price is ultered and will create chaos in public against government. Although that might lower the demand in public. Additionally, if just increasing the price cannot stop people from consuming sugar, they might try home receipies with sugar.

Awerness in public can also impact the demand of sugary products, such as through social media trends, and gen-z style. additionally, we can add the chapters in school books to train our children also.

Furthermore, we can also reduce demand in sugary products through changing their fancy advertisement look. Canadian government also applied this idea to replicate the look of chocolates to lower the interest. Another example is the Cigerattes. Many countries have added the cancer patient photos on cigeratte pockets to lower the demand in market.

However, ban on sugary products is not an easy way, but there are multiple countries in which factories add inappropriciate amount of sugar which leads to surge the number of sugar patients. we can also ban those products.

In conclusion, I would suggest that, just making products more expensive would not solve the issue thoroughly. By focusing on multiple factors we can bring massive change in a demand of sugary products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The candidate addresses all parts of the prompt by presenting a clear position (partially agreeing that price alone is insufficient) and supporting it with relevant ideas such as public awareness, product design changes, and potential bans. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or repetitive, such as the mention of 'chaos in public' without elaboration. The response meets the task requirements adequately and provides a balanced viewpoint, placing it firmly at a Band 6.0 descriptor level where all parts are addressed and relevant ideas are present, though some aspects require further expansion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at paragraphing, separating the introduction, body points on awareness and packaging, and the conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition phrases like 'In owing to this' and 'Additionally, if just increasing the price cannot stop...' are awkward and unnatural. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical progression between sentences can be abrupt. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion suffers from repetitive structures and imprecise cohesive devices, which aligns with Band 5.5 to 6.0 descriptors; a Band 6.0 is awarded as the overall progression remains discernible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The candidate demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'modification', 'aesthetic looks', and 'alternatives'. However, there are notable word-choice and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'massive level' instead of 'massive levels', 'ultered' instead of 'altered', 'Awerness' instead of 'awareness', 'receipies' instead of 'recipes', and 'Cigerattes' instead of 'cigarettes'. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they recur frequently enough to prevent the score from reaching a Band 6.5. The lexical range is minimally sufficient to convey the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional and concessive clauses ('Although that might lower the demand...', 'If just increasing the price cannot stop...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'Individual think that...', 'only rely on price would not solve...', and 'factories add inappropriciate amount of sugar which leads to surge the number of sugar patients.' Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent ('the Canadian government', 'a demand'). These errors occasionally cause slight difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar performance at Band 5.5.

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