Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Numerous manufactured food and drink items contain high level of sugar which leads to many health issues. Sweet products should be made increase prices to warn people to less intake of sugar. Notwithstanding the opposing viewpoints, I totally agreement with this statement that sugar can cause of various health issues such as debates. This essay will delineate the reason for my position.

Firstly, the foremost reason why I agree with this stance is that Intaking a high level of sugar leads to many diseases such as debates, tooth problems and bones diseases. In addition, there are different kinds of products including chocolates, lays and biscuits, which contain the highest amount of sugar level. Whereas, people have not knowledge about that what they are eating. Unfortunately, they think that a pack of biscuits cannot be harmful for us. They have not knowledge about the high qunatity of sugar can leads to the death. For instance, an obesity is the world trending disease, it cause by the high level of sugar intake in the diet. Therefore, it is clear that the high intake of these products leads to serious health issues.

Secondly, another compelling reason is that numerous manufactured products can cause of children bones growth problems and as well as stomach issues. Therefore, sweets items should be high expensive to public awareness about to take the less qunatity of a sugar. A majority of pupils will not afford the price of packed food and drink items meanwhile children will start eat healthy food. It can be beneficial for them. For example, my cousin is a 6 years old and his pocket money is only 10 ruppees per day. It is too small amount and he cannot afford to buy anything form the school canteen. So, it is beneficial for his health because these products are harmfull for us. Consequently, it is evident that when the prices of these products will bost a majority of people would not able to afford these packed products.

In conclusion, in light of the above statement, it is clear that I totally agree with this positive development. Furthermore, we should avoid to purchase these products that can cause of health issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position agreeing that sugary products should be made more expensive. Main ideas are presented, such as health issues and economic deterrents, though some concepts are awkwardly expressed or over-generalized (e.g., repeating 'debates' instead of 'diabetes', and mentioning 'bones diseases'). While the arguments are generally relevant to the task, the development of ideas in body paragraphs tends to be repetitive and relies heavily on personal anecdotes or extreme assertions, such as claiming high sugar intake directly leads to sudden death without further nuance. Nevertheless, all parts of the prompt are addressed, fulfilling the criteria for a Band 5.5 to 6.0, landing at a Band 6.0 for covering the core aspects of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, showing a clear overall attempt at paragraphing. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow due to abrupt transitions and mechanical cohesive devices like 'Firstly, the foremost reason why I agree with this stance is that' and 'Secondly, another compelling reason is that'. Referencing and pronouns are occasionally confusing, such as 'what they are eating. Unfortunately, they think that a pack of biscuits cannot be harmful for us.' The use of cohesive devices is repetitive, and the concluding paragraph is notably truncated. These features point towards a Band 5.0 level, where organization is visible but coherence suffers from inadequate or clumsy cohesive links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student attempts to use a range of vocabulary suitable for the topic, including words like 'manufactured', 'obesity', and 'canteen'. However, there are frequent lexical errors and odd word choices that impede natural expression, most notably confusing 'diabetes' with 'debates', and using phrases like 'made increase prices', 'less intake', and 'high expensive'. Spelling and word-form errors are recurrent ('qunatity', 'harmfull', 'bost'). While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic message, the density of word-choice and spelling errors prevents the score from rising higher than Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as conditional ideas ('when the prices of these products will bost a majority of people would not able to afford these packed products'). However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in verb tense, modal usage, prepositions, and article placement ('cause of various health issues', 'have not knowledge', 'children bones growth problems'). Errors such as 'it cause by' and 'start eat' demonstrate a lack of control over basic structures. Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader in untangling the intended meaning, this performance aligns closely with the Band 5.0 descriptors.

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