Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable fact that a plethora of manufactured edible food items and beverages contains sugar in excessive amount, which leads to many health conditions. I am absolutely agree with statement that expensive sugary items encourage individuals to consume less sugar and reasons for my viewpoints along with relevant examples will be articulated in upcoming paragraphs.

The first and formost reason to favour the costly sugary products in order to reduce health concerns is that, Middle class people cut on sugars because of high prices. To put it simply, middle class is the class of socitey, among which consumption of sugar is in huge amount because of a lack of awarness regarding health diseases directly associated with overconsumption of sweet edibles and easy access to sugary products in terms of finances, therefore, they consume sugar on regular basic while taking their everyday meals. A pertinent illustration is that, majority of people come from mid-tier socio-economic group intake sugar in everyday tea, coffee and sweets.

Another prime cause to advocate high prices of sugary products is that, it makes people more productive, efficient and healty. To be more precise, there is no single benefit people get by consuming sugar. Instead, If individuals intake sugar in regular meals, they will loose productivity because sugar causes several health challenges obesity, more ageing, skin problems, diabetes, which otherwise restrained. Furthermore, easy accessibility of sugar result in overconsumption of it which can be controlled by surging its prices.

To conclude, making sugary products more expensive is a good approach to reduce health concerns. This is due to reason of less accessibility to sugary products among common society people who are less aware about its drawbacks and opting healthy food preferences which ensures their fitness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position on whether sugary products should be made more expensive to reduce health issues. The writer introduces relevant ideas regarding socio-economic groups and health problems such as diabetes and obesity. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding the middle class relies heavily on generalisations about lack of awareness and financial access without exploring deeper socio-economic mechanisms. The third paragraph touches upon productivity and health challenges, but the connection between price increases and productivity could be articulated with greater clarity and depth. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting the criteria for a band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a clear overall progression, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is utilised appropriately to separate main ideas. However, cohesion within and between sentences is occasionally faulty or mechanical. For example, phrases like 'The first and formost reason to favour' and 'To be more precise' are used somewhat rigidly. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as 'which otherwise restrained' in the third paragraph, making the logical link between clauses confusing. Transition markers are present, but their deployment lacks the flexibility and natural flow expected at higher bands, placing this aspect firmly at a band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, including terms like 'plethora', 'socio-economic group', and 'overconsumption'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text. For example, the writer uses 'edible food items' which is tautological, and writes 'intake sugar' instead of 'consume sugar' or 'ingest sugar'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'formost' instead of 'foremost', 'socitey' instead of 'society', 'awarness' instead of 'awareness', 'basic' instead of 'basis', and 'healty' instead of 'healthy'. These errors do not impede communication overall, but they restrict the lexical score to a 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some capacity for subordination and relative clauses. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There is a glaring grammatical error in the thesis statement: 'I am absolutely agree with statement', which should be 'I absolutely agree with the statement'. Other errors include missing articles ('Middle class people', 'mid-tier socio-economic group intake') and problematic verb forms, such as 'will loose' instead of 'will lose'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but frequent minor structural errors prevent the majority of sentences from being error-free, justifying a band 5.5.

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