Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is widely believed that more manufuctured meal and dinks include excessive level of glucose, they affects the human bieng health and sugary items will be forme more unoffordable to encourge individual intake less sugar, in my opinion the high level of sugar can cuase the diabetic disease in human .

On the one hand i agree with this point of view, nowaday the artificaial food and cold drinks contain a large amounth of sugar, and they directly causese many diseases also affect the routien life, the company uses sugar in that goods for taste which likes many people and also individual demand is high on that items . And company produce more product . For instance burger, pizza that is high levl of glucose contains and in the cold drinks the goumey type of juice is high sugar, i suggest that it is good for health and cheaper is compared to other items but not take in large quantity.

On the other hand i disagree with this point of view, the high level of sugary product is causes several types of diseas, such as obesity, diabeties and gaining weight. However, in many country the company manufacturig high level of sugary products and spend high amounth on that but people can care for their life and can use it a very rare quantity of sugar. From my perspectives, the high amounth of sugary items is avoided for better health.

In conclusion. The company in presnt day is produced excessive amount of sugary products, but many people can avoiding that or less usess of sugar items.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage lower consumption. However, the position presented is contradictory and confusing. In the introduction, the writer seems to agree, yet the body paragraphs switch between agreeing and disagreeing in a confusing manner, stating on the one hand 'i agree' and on the other 'i disagree', but then discussing the exact same negative health consequences in both sections. Main ideas are under-developed and lack clear extension due to confused line of argument. This places the response firmly at Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 for attempting the main task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has severe organizational issues. While paragraphing is attempted with a clear introduction and conclusion, the body paragraphs do not follow a logical structure. The writer uses transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', but these are used incorrectly as both sections end up arguing points about health diseases rather than presenting balanced, distinct viewpoints (for and against). Additionally, cohesive devices are frequently mechanical or misused, and referencing is often unclear, leading to a breakdown in logical progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and heavily impacted by spelling and word-choice errors. Examples of non-standard usage include 'manufuctured meal', 'dinks', 'bieng', 'unoffordable', 'goumey', and 'usess'. While the writer attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'glucose', 'artificial food', 'obesity', and 'diabeties', the frequent spelling mistakes ('diabeties', 'manufurturing', 'amounth') and limited control over lexical items cause considerable strain for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the text. The response relies heavily on run-on sentences and comma splices, such as 'It is widely believed that more manufuctured meal and dinks include excessive level of glucose, they affects the human bieng health'. There is a very limited range of accurate structures, and complex sentences are almost uniformly faulty, featuring frequent errors in subject-verb agreement ('company uses', 'company produce'), article usage, and prepositions. These pervasive errors frequently impede communication and require the reader to re-read sentences to grasp the intended meaning.

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