Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is widely beleived that more produced meal and beverage items include excessive levels of sugar, some aruge that increasing the product rate is best for low use sugary items. In my opinion, the large amount of sugary products can affect human health. I agree with this.
On the one hand the manufactured food and drinks contain high levels of glucose amount, they cause sevaral types of disease sucha as obesity, diabetes and heart attack disease. For instance, in pakistan 2021 the cold drinks cmpanies manufactur the gourment drink and the compinies use on it more shakrine ( glucose type) in pakistan, they transported in many cities area, the demand of those drink are more occur the people like it, However the making company increase the price of these product and the excessice demand of gourment many people suffered from tracycardia disease, diabetes and weight gain disease. And finally, people can stop high level of sugar. I suggest that the less amount of sugary product should be taken for better health.
Furthermore, the gournment authority can focuse and spend money on hospital in case of high quantity of sugary products cause many types of heart and diabetes disease and gournment uses more amounth on equipment and machinery wich is used on heart surgery types of diseases and necrosis the diabetes patient foot or any body types which can causes from sever intake of sugary products . From my perspective, the authority can spend money on the health side.
In conclusion, in high amount of sugary products cause several type disease like diabetes and heart attack and the gournment can spend money on machinery in hospital to treat that disease.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The essay addresses the prompt by expressing a clear position agreeing that sugary products should be made more expensive. However, the development of ideas is limited and sometimes confusing. For instance, the example regarding companies in Pakistan and the specific health issues mentioned, such as 'tracycardia disease' and 'necrosis the diabetes patient foot', are somewhat chaotic and underdeveloped in terms of supporting the main argument. The response covers all parts of the task broadly, but the support lacks clarity and precise logical progression. Therefore, the response aligns best with Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by poor transitions and run-on sentences. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as starting a sentence with 'And finally' or using 'However' incorrectly in the middle of a sentence: 'the demand of those drink are more occur the people like it, However the making company increase the price'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs is weak. Referencing is often unclear, leaving the reader to guess connections between ideas. This level of organisation corresponds to Band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic, and there are numerous word choice and spelling errors throughout the text. Examples include 'beleived', 'produced meal' instead of manufactured food, 'gourment' instead of government, 'shakrine', and 'amounth'. While the student attempts less common vocabulary like 'excessive' and 'tachycardia' (spelled 'tracycardia'), the high frequency of errors in spelling, word formation, and collocation impedes communication at times. The lexical range is minimally adequate for the task, placing it squarely at Band 4.5, which is rounded to Band 5.0 based on positive achievement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The essay demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, and simple sentences often contain severe errors. There is a heavy reliance on basic constructions, and attempts at complex sentences result in frequent structural failures, run-on sentences, and comma splices, such as 'On the one hand the manufactured food and drinks contain high levels of glucose amount, they cause sevaral types of disease...' Errors in subject-verb agreement ('companies use on it', 'demand of those drink are') and tense usage are pervasive. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader, matching the Band 4.0 descriptors.
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