Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It’s claimed that processed foods and soft drinks have high content of sugar, which leads to several health related issues , it’s claimed that all junk food and carbonated drinks shall be taxed excessively that people tend to consume less sugar , I agree with the opinion as it’s one of the key factor to rise of health issues ,

Time shortage of day to day life tends people to consume processed high sugar meals and drinks. Individuals using processed foods and fizzy drinks are mostly Diabetic . In current hustle of life almost everyone is rushing things same is case of the diet , due to least time individuals prefers processed food instead of cooking less sugary food as processed meals are easy to be served in contrast to natural meals . Theses high sugar foods have content which is hard to digest which compels individuals to consume carbonated drinks which are rich in sugar content ,

Easily accessible option to feed individuals, in modern world financial obligations are hiking due to run for more comfort which compels individuals to cut the expenses from certain things to fulfill the wants .individuals found these meals and drinks with high glucose content which leads to different chronic and acute health complications, as heavy weight , high cholesterol and many other critical health concern like cardiovascular issues

In the current situation of society where majority of people struggles to meet the basic bills .Financial constraints seems to be more result oriented and high impact solution,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the health issues caused by sugary products and taking a clear position that they should be taxed to reduce consumption. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times repetitive. The arguments regarding time constraints and financial obligations are introduced, but they remain under-developed and lack clear extension with specific examples. While the writer covers the main parts of the task, the reasoning can be convoluted, such as the claim that high sugar foods compel individuals to consume carbonated drinks. This places the response comfortably at Band 5.0, where ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed, and the position, although present, lacks full and clear elaboration across the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay displays severe issues with punctuation, paragraphing, and cohesive control. The entire text is essentially one massive run-on collection of clauses connected by commas rather than full stops or appropriate conjunctions, making it very difficult to follow a logical progression. Paragraphing is not used effectively to separate distinct ideas, as the student relies heavily on comma splices throughout (e.g., writing multiple independent clauses separated only by commas). Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, and referencing is frequently unclear. This severely disrupts the flow of ideas, aligning the response with Band 4.0, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently and structural paragraphing is absent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, with several awkward collocations and word choices. Examples such as 'rise of health issues', 'least time', 'run for more comfort', and 'result oriented' demonstrate a limited range that is only minimally adequate for the task. There are also noticeable vocabulary errors and unnatural phrasing (e.g., 'tends people to consume', 'individuals using processed foods') that cause some difficulty for the reader. While the student attempts some less common terms like 'financial constraints' and 'cardiovascular issues', the overall lexical control is weak, fitting the Band 5.0 descriptors where noticeable lexical errors and a limited vocabulary range impede smooth communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the response. The text is plagued by severe punctuation errors, primarily chronic comma splices, where sentences run on endlessly without terminal full stops. There is an almost complete absence of correct sentence boundaries. Furthermore, complex structures are frequently faulty, and errors in basic subject-verb agreement and word forms occur constantly (e.g., 'tends people to consume', 'individuals prefers', 'Theses high sugar foods'). Because errors are extremely frequent and often obscure the meaning of the sentences, making the text very difficult to read, the performance corresponds to Band 4.0, where errors dominate and grammatical structures are heavily distorted.

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