Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

People living in rural areas are shifting towards cities in many countries around the world due to which the trend of population is declining in the countryside. It can be both a positive or a negative development depending on personal preferences, however moving into a developed region is a positive approach in my opinion due to wide range of facilities and comfortable lifestyle.

People who seek for better living opportunities find an obstacle to live in rural areas as there are limited resources and few basic necessities while a city side comprises of versatile options related to needs and wants. For instance, educated people travel all the way from their village daily to arrive at their workplace located in the town bacause of advanced salary packages and options for career development. Furthermore, other services such as supermarkets, aesthetics, shopping malls, hospitals, and universities, hence everything either its a basic necessity or a luxury commodity exists in the city life.

In contrast to this, the urban lifestyle holds differences in terms of nature and its purity of the environment. For example, a limited number of trees or greenery can be sighted, as the huge building are constructed with no left space. Additionally, a large proportion of harmful gases particularly the emission of carbon dioxide from vehicles surrounds the atmosphere of city side, hence causes detrimental effects to human health and is the major reason for increasing global warming.

While the people moving towards urban societies view their own benefits and drawbacks, i personally believe it as a positive trend because this movement is a step towards a good living standard.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.0

There is a significant issue regarding task achievement in this response, as the student has written an essay about rural-to-urban migration rather than addressing the prompt regarding whether sugary products should be made more expensive to reduce consumption. Because the response is entirely off-topic, it fails to address the prompt's core question about manufactured food, drinks, sugar, and taxation/pricing policies. Although the writer takes a clear position on urbanisation in their concluding paragraph ('i personally believe it as a positive trend'), this position answers a completely different question. Therefore, the essay cannot be awarded a passing band score for task achievement. To improve, it is essential to read the prompt carefully and ensure that all arguments directly address the specific issue raised in the task instructions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Despite being completely off-topic, the essay displays a clear structural framework with discernible paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs exploring advantages and disadvantages respectively, and a conclusion. The writer attempts to guide the reader using cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast to this', and 'Additionally'. However, referencing and transitions are at times awkward, such as starting the final paragraph with 'While the people moving towards urban societies view their own benefits and drawbacks...'. Paragraphing is used logically to separate different sub-topics, such as economic opportunities versus environmental drawbacks. If the content matched the prompt, this level of organization would typically support a mid-range band; however, due to the failure to engage with the actual topic, the logical progression is undermined.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student demonstrates an adequate working vocabulary with several attempts at less common lexical items, such as 'versatile options', 'advanced salary packages', 'luxury commodity', and 'detrimental effects'. There are, however, noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text. For example, the phrase 'a city side comprises of versatile options' is unnatural, and 'bacause' contains a spelling error. The writer also uses 'aesthetics' incorrectly when referring to urban facilities. While the vocabulary used is sufficient to communicate ideas about urbanisation, these recurring inaccuracies and unnatural collocations prevent the lexical score from reaching higher levels. Expanding the range of precise vocabulary and paying closer attention to word combinations would enhance the quality of writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as conditional and concessive clauses ('It can be both a positive or a negative development depending on personal preferences, however moving into...'). There are, however, frequent grammatical errors and punctuation slips that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Notable issues include subject-verb agreement errors like 'the huge building are constructed with no left space', missing articles ('causes detrimental effects'), and mechanical errors such as starting sentences with a lowercase 'i'. The sentence structures, while varied, often contain awkward phrasing or run-on tendencies. Despite these errors, meaning is usually recoverable, placing the grammatical performance firmly in the mid-range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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